2025 Holiday Message

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Another year is coming to an end and so is The Blogging Owl. The Blogging Owl has been around since about 2007 in form or another. It was a platform to find my voice in a variety of life experiences and viewpoints. It is time for me to leave it behind and move forward to accept everything for what it is. I have found the courage to surrender to all that is happening in life.

I am seeking to make a change. It is normal for us to hold onto what feels comfortable, but change is often necessary. Change often happens through discomfort. I need to feed my focus and starve my distractions. Letting go of The Blogging Owl is needed to reroute my dreams. Many of you have been on this writing journey with me as I explored my health, cancer diagnoses and my views on just about every topic. My faith has been my source of comfort but all of you have been that too. I thank you for you reading and liking my posts and sending me the occasional comments.

I am moving to a new platform with new content. You can continue to follow me, S. L. Prielipp-Falzone @theowlmusing on Substack.com, Instagram @theowlmusing and Threads @theowlmusing.

I would like to wish you Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Peace,

The Blogging Owl and The Owl Poet websites will be going offline in 2026. All Blogging Owl and The Owl Poet images and content will remain the property of S. L. Prielipp-Falzone.

Reflection, an unusual gift

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What I have learned since being diagnosed with cancer, namely leukemia, over five years ago is that it has been a gift. The last five years of various health challenges which I have written to some degrees have not been without taking some toll on my mind and body, but never my spirit. It has been my spirit that has buoyed my mind and body to reflect on the ‘gift’ of cancer.

I do not mean to diminish or speak on behalf of others who have been diagnosed with cancer or another terminal illness. Their perspective may be much different to mine as our wellness paths are uniquely our own.

The Stoic, Seneca stated, “begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” He went on to state separately that “the great obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow loses today. While we are postponing, life speeds by.” In other words, we live to die each day.

Cancer has taught me to love the life God has given me.

I could be ashamed of the resources and time I have spent over the course of my life on material things or trivial matters. Cancer taught me not to dwell on these things but seek what it means to live well in mind, body, and spirit today.

How do I want to live on this day?

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars and see yourself running with them.” – Stoic, Marcus Aurelius

The beauty in my life is my family, my ‘editors,’ friends, and the nature that surrounds where I live. The beauty in my life is offering the love, kindness, and the fruits of the Spirit to others who I meet on this day.

Cancer has taught me that my resiliency is grounded in my spiritual faith.

God did not cause my cancer, but He led me to a spiritual home where I can be fully engulfed in Christ’s peace in all the challenges and chaos of this life.

After 64 years of following in the church traditions of my parents, God has led me to make one of the most important decisions of my life. I have transferred from the Lutheran Church of the Missouri Synod to The Episcopal Church. I finally feel like I belong in a community of Christian believers who meet people where they are without reservation to fully feel the love of Jesus Christ.

Cancer caused me to seek the true meaning of love.

Each of us yearns to love and be loved. There are scores of songs and books written on love. I had the distinct honor of officiating the marriage of my youngest son and his fiancé this past July. In preparing and writing the ceremony, I could not find a better definition of love than what is written in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. Each morning, I now open my journal, and I read this chapter so that I may prepare myself to live well and to live in the Spirit of my faith.

1“I may speak in the languages of humans and of angels. But if I do not have love, I am a loud gong or a clashing cymbal.

2 I may have the gift to speak what God has revealed, and I may understand all mysteries and have all knowledge. I may even have enough faith to move mountains. But if I do not have love, I am nothing.

3 I may even give away all that I have and give up my body to be burned. But if I don’t have love, none of these things will help me.

4 Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous.
It does not sing its own praises. It is not arrogant.

5 It is not rude.
It does not think about itself.
It is not irritable. It does not keep track of wrongs.

6 It is not happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.

7 Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.

8 Love never comes to an end. There is the gift of speaking what God has revealed, but it will no longer be used. There is the gift of speaking in other languages, but it will stop by itself. There is the gift of knowledge, but it will no longer be used.

9 Our knowledge is incomplete and our ability to speak what God has revealed is incomplete.

10 But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will no longer be used.

11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways.

12 Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly. Now my knowledge is incomplete. Then I will have complete knowledge as God has complete knowledge of me.

13 So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the best one of these is love.”

– 1 Corinthians 13 (God’s Word Translation)

“If, at some point in your life,” Marcus Aurelius wrote, “you should come across anything better than justice, truth, self-control, courage – it must be an extraordinary thing indeed.”

We are each a torchbearer of an inner light. Love fills us with joy liberating our souls to experience community, connectedness, and peace. Love, indeed, is that extraordinary thing.

“Accept the things which fate binds you and love the people with whom fate brings you together but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Whether you believe in God or in a fate that brings us together and the designs that are placed before us, the one thing Stoicism and Christianity agree on is that “God helps those who help themselves.” To live well on this day is to love. Do not take this day for granted. Help yourself to love. You do not need cancer to give you this gift; however, it was the gift of cancer nonetheless that taught me these lessons.

Find your place today in mind, body, and spirit and live well today – not in yesterday or for tomorrow – but today.

On September 25, 2025, on my five-year anniversary, I am happy to report that I have finally achieved remission from leukemia.

Peace,

(Please also subscribe to substack.com/@thebloggingowl)

Opinions, for what it is worth

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This article is the first in a series marking what will be my five-year anniversary of being diagnosed with leukemia on September 25, 2020.

This is not a series of opinion articles about how cancer sucks. We all know cancer sucks. Cancer touches everyone in some way. It isn’t about rehashing my past health issues, elusive remission status, or the health issue I am currently fighting (a surgical mistake) because all of that sucks too. What I aim to share with you is what I have learned about resilience, tolerance, joy, boundaries, freedom, and kindness – not necessarily, in that order.

Opinions

Our opinions and beliefs are crucial for shaping our lives, guiding our choices, and impacting our overall happiness. (I also have an opinion on happiness, but more about that in a different post.) The one crucial point that I have learned over the last five years is that I have allowed external opinions, especially negative opinions, affect my internal peace and well-being.

When I grew up on a pig farm in rural southeast Michigan, I was not allowed to have a voice. My opinion nor likes or dislikes on any given subject did not matter. One of my earliest memories was at the Sunday dinner table when the discussion was on our favorite foods. I said that my favorite vegetable was green beans. My father emphatically stated, “You DON’T like green beans!” When I protested that I did indeed love green beans, he strongly stated that I did not like them. I fell silent as I often did when I was reprimanded for my voicing my opinion. This wasn’t the only time I was shut down. This is the one I remember most vividly because what did it matter that my favorite vegetable was green beans?!!

My dysfunctional parents taught my siblings and I that in order to survive this family unit, we were to keep our opinions to ourselves. When we didn’t hold them there was hell to pay both physically and emotionally so you can only imagine the anger that was tamped down in our little bodies for all those years.

As soon as I graduated high school, I left the family home with the vow that I would have my opinions and that I would damn well share them. That vow did not always bode well for me over the course of my life or for others for that that matter. Then along came social media and my first Facebook page in 2010. Let me just say that before you share an opinion, make sure your opinion is based on sufficient information, and it is made with good intentions. Consider that you have enough accurate information, the right motives for sharing, and that you are sharing it with the correct audience. I no longer have any Facebook pages because accurate information is hard to come by these days.

Opinions matter when they influence others for good or have a direct impact on decision-making processes, particularly in social and professional settings. Opinions from those with specialized knowledge are worth considering as they may offer valuable insights that we all do not possess. But I would also caution you that the vetting process for those with knowledgeable opinions is crucial too, as well as vetting me because what the hell do I know?

Here is what I do know…

External opinions can be a source of distress. The judgments are often based on fleeting emotions, biases, and a lack of understanding, making them unreliable sources of guidance.

My new mantra is, “Don’t inhale what others are exhaling.”

What do I mean by that? When we inhale the opinions of others, we dress them in our own circumstances, experiences, and bias. Swimming suits, like opinions look and move differently on us than it does on the other person. Swimsuits are a perfect example. Go shopping for a swimsuit. Try it on. Twirl around in front of the mirror and you will understand what I am saying here.

We have the power to choose our opinions and judgments. We can choose to voice them or stay silent. The two things that I have learned are whether I can choose to have an opinion or not. What do you mean I can actually choose not to have an opinion?! I need my voice to be heard!! Seriously, my mind was blown when I realized that I did not need to have an opinion on everything in this world even if it is a serious topic. Secondly, if I had an opinion, I didn’t need to voice it. Staying silent is difficult for me when my whole childhood experience demanded my silence. But now, I find my silence can be a superpower.

What I have also learned…

I am not advocating for ignoring or disregarding the opinions of others for my own entirety. I have learned to recognize the limitations and potential negativity of external judgments and choosing to prioritize them for my own inner peace and well-being. Life is too short to focus on things I cannot control like cancer and surgical mistakes. I can reduce the impact of external opinions to lead a more resilient and peaceful life.

Here is the most important lesion on opinions, including my own opinions, which is that opinions are considered valuable in certain contexts. Opinions ought to be held with humility and love, recognizing that not all opinions are rooted in truth. We are encouraged to engage in discussions and debates, even when disagreements arise while emphasizing the importance of love and respect in such interactions. Whether it is America, our personal or professional lives, we have (or least I had) forgotten that this is what makes each of our voices great.

My last piece of advice and this is important: When you ask for advice, you are asking for an opinion. Make sure you don’t stop at the first one but ask for a second opinion, a third one if necessary.

Live in peace,

(Please also subscribe to substack.com/@thebloggingowl)

A Journal, a week in the life

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mOTIVATION mONDAY

a subtle poison
seeps in and settles
like a heavy fog
infiltrating the roots
transforming the outlook
to a relentless sense of entitlement

“Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursings, and hatred. Be kind to each other, sympathetic, forgiving each other as God has forgiven you through Christ.” Ephesians 4:31-32

When I grasp the magnitude of what I have been forgiven, I truly understand the enormity of my own forgiveness that there is no debt so large that I cannot forgive others. In Christ, my immense debt of sin has dissipated, compelling me to extend the same mercy to those who have caused the fog of bitterness that threatens to poison my heart.

tRUSTING tUESDAY

caught in this frightening web
of these chaotic times
strung up from the corner
of the glorious creation
to the radiant strobes
of final redemption
twisting in the shadows
the inclination toward evil
yet, yearning for the highest good
a human entwined and entangled
offering myself for righteousness

“I am suffering and in pain. Let your saving power protect me, O God. I want to praise God’s name with a song of thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than sacrificing an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs.” Psalms 69:29-31

People may think I have it together, but inside I am asking, “How am I to be a human in this world?” I am inadequate in and of myself. Yes, I know I am not to doubt or downplay my gifts and strengths, but the silent fear of inadequacy is a special kind of suffering – a psychological fear.

Yet, my limitations are an invitation from God to be present with his limitless powers in my life. God’s plan of success for me does not depend on my performance. It depends on my faith and trust in Him.

wORTHWHILE wEDNESDAY

the flower garden
with all its differences
between the yearnings
of showy petals and sweet scents
feeding the bumblebees,
and the vocation of the sunflowers
that one day yield fruit from their heavy heads of trying,
perhaps the judgment retrospect
like the dandelions
eventually floating of ideas
with the benefit of hindsight
calls me to labor and to follow
after all, life may be understood
backwards and lived forward

My freshman high school English teacher and mentor, J. Larry Roberts understood my writing in all its suffering. His wise words are never forgotten. “Keep writing your way through it,” he would prompt.

Whatever we write is worthwhile. It is coming from that place in a garden of ideas that some may read as bold or innocent, while others may find constructive and persuasive.

Who is worthy to write?
Which writer is worthwhile to read?

Whatever a writer chooses to write no matter the form, it will resonate and be worthwhile for someone on this huge planet or elsewhere in the cosmos. Our suffering in mind, body, and spirit blooms like a garden but only after we suffer through the tilling of the soil. Writers only get better by writing their way through it and reading alongside the labors of other writers.

I was privileged to write and read the eulogy for J. Larry Roberts on 7/16/2016.

“Your suffering proves that God’s judgment is right and that you are considered worthy of his kingdom.” 2 Thessalonians 1:5

Thanksgiving Thursday

the beauty of light
owes its existence
to the dark
striking the flint
on the rock of Christ
giving it that spark

i see you
sacred humanity
the worthiness birthmark
i hear you
discerning the purpose
a spiritual hark

do not despair
i am with you
even in the dark
be the beauty
within your existence
i am the spark

God created each of us a sacred human being worthy of being saved from all that is evil and unholy. God creates us with his own originality, a particular gender, race or ethnicity being a sidebar, hence irrelevant. “Come to me,” He said without stating any exceptions.

The courage we use to connect with one another without exceptions is the electricity of God between us illuminating compassion. We look beyond physical identity to the spiritual when we say, “I see you. I hear you.”
Saints discern their purpose.

When we sow chaos in each other, we allow evil to conquer our sacredness.

When we courageously connect with compassion, we conquer evil with good.

Each of us is simply human. Each of us was made sacred. Each of us has worthiness as a birthmark.

Thank you, Lord on this National Day of Prayer, May 1, 2025 for being the spark so we may connect with each other from the existence of beauty. Amen

Freedom Friday

life is fragile
just another battle
counting the surrounding angels
praying away the painful
what will be will be
all is ahead of me

don’t be sad
cutting out all that’s bad
regret they say is stronger
but gratitude stays longer
choosing how to see
with positivity

heartfelt and fine
walking with your hand in mine
in silence with teary eyes
see you on the other side
whatever side that may be
either way, God has me

Let others marinate in the juices of all the whys. Me? I free myself from all the whys as they only keep me from my work and from my joy.

The whys waste time. I will stick with the whats and the hows for them to move my interest toward my purpose. My inspiration with them never dies.

I do not even bother with the whens because all the whens care about is usually out of my control or none of my concern.

No, today, I am free to read and write and to heck with any arithmetic! I count only the moments to reflect the ways that God has me either way if tomorrow never comes.

Self-Awareness Saturday

facing my goliath
enduring the betrayal
before stepping into purpose
preparing myself for the banquet
while all my enemies stand watch
my cup begins overflowing

shifting my own ambience
i say what matters
my faith-filled words pave the way
a new reality takes shape
the tongue has mighty power
those who will talk ill will eat their words

i have become an open vessel
pouring out what God pours in
a gentle heart, an open spirit
i will not hoard my blessings
allowing them to flow from my cup
because what benefits them, benefits me

Validation is elusive because survival never celebrates. It simply moves on to the next crisis.

Oh! Would it be easy to shrug it all off? To say it does not matter, the words, the ghosting? Whatever I am in control of is my own reaction. What we reap is what sow.

Isn’t that the farmer’s wisdom? Is it not Karma’s retribution that what comes around comes around worse?

“Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God. Whatever you plant is what you will harvest. If you plant in the soil of your corrupt nature, you will harvest destruction. But if you plant in the soil of your spiritual nature, you will harvest everlasting life.” Galations 6:7-8

I know my truth. I savor my blessings. I share them with you. May they benefit you as they have benefited me.

Silent Sunday

shining my armor
preparing for the battle
weeding my garden

I shut down all the electronic devices and turn off all the begging notifications. Inward, I wash down the dirty walls and messy floors of my spirit. I open wide the windows to inhale fresh air and exhale the bad. I step outside of myself to listen to the newness of nature that never ceases to bring a new exciting perspective with the world as it is.

My mind, body, and spirit take precedence today. I wallow in the productivity of silence rather than in busyness. No outside communication except for the birds singing their song of praise. I humble myself for tomorrow and if tomorrow never comes then I have spent the last day well.

“However, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves, pray, search for me, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear their prayer from heaven, forgive their sins, and heal their country.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

(Please consider subscribing to The Blogging Owl on Substack as not all of my writing is shown here on TheBloggingOwl.com or TheOwlPoet.com. The above journal entries were adapted from posts on substack.com/@thebloggingowl )

Live in peace,

Silence, recalibrating for action

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“Those who are animated by hope can perform what would seem impossibilities to those who are under the depressing influence of fear.” – Maria Edgeworth, 18th-century novelist

Silent Sunday is a weekly ritual where I turn off the outside world – no app or email notifications, no telephone calls or text messages unless it is an emergency, no addictive social media or retail scrolling. I look inward and inhale deep breaths of air to reset myself for the week ahead. It is a time to recalibrate by wellbeing in mind, body, and spirit so that it is less attached to the wider circumstances and more to my efforts within those circumstances.

Over the last 25 years with the advancement of technology and the over consumption of news has made us even more hyper-vigilant and fearful from the Y2K computer frenzy that was supposed to shut down the world and the Dot-Com crisis in 2000, the terrorist attack on U.S. soil on 9/11/2001, the Great Recession of 2007 to 2009, the COVID-19 Pandemic of 2020 to 2022, and now to the terrifying so-called Liberation Day with global tariffs of 4/5/2025.

While Silent Sunday may be an attempt to shrink from an uncertain divided world by retreating to my inner citadels to look after only myself, I recognize that self-care is important. I must turn inwards first to release my attachment to everything outside of my personal control by focusing on tempering and improving myself. It is this inward action that I can turn outwards again to better work on the world and its problems.

It is easy to become overwhelmed by unfathomably large and complicated problems. It is easy to drown ourselves in a stream of urgent, turbulent, inexhaustible stream of news. In my post of February 20, 2025, Rise Up! Initiative against Despair, I stated that hope is not the best solution, but that of action. I believe in that statement wholeheartedly. We are all interconnected, all part of a one world community, and so by actively improving ourselves we improve the world.

Yet, I do need a hopeful, empowered version of myself. And so does the world.

Who hasn’t had some sort of personal catastrophe in the last 25 years? I certainly have had my share of them. Each catastrophe was an opportunity to take stock and return to a more authentic life path. It is that spirit of renewal that not only applies to me but to society too.

Silent Sunday gives me an opportunity to realign myself with the outside world by aligning myself within. Silencing the external world forces me to acknowledge that I am often carried away not by reality, but my own untethered, unhelpful, unnecessary imaginings about the future. I am not saying there isn’t real danger out there especially of repeating a horrific global past, I simply mean to attach my wellbeing to my own efforts in improving it, by being a good person to myself and for others.

Silent Sunday is about building a faith that says, “a better life for myself and others can emerge only if I decide to build one.”

Ultimately, over-consuming information wherever it comes to me is not going to produce a hopeful, more empowered version of myself. Silent Sunday is recalibrating myself by spending time with my faith in service, in meditation, in nature. Silent Sunday strengthens me so when I am ready to turn outward again not with passive hope but with a hope clothed in an armor to rise up against the chaos that benefits the world.

Live in peace,

Black and white Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay

Friendship, a living letter

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What I enjoyed about Facebook was becoming connected to people that once shared a part of my life from primary school, college, a business associate, colleagues, neighbors and so on. It is not often that good things stay the same much like the people we have encountered over the years.

Social media has a way of showing true colors including mine.

I began to reflect on how I have changed since 2010 when I created by Facebook account and showing my true colors. Facebook allowed an opportunity for people to have a voice while others lurk only in the shadows to watch the ensuing show in the comments section.

I admit I am not happy with all that I have shared over the years of having a Facebook account. While at times it brought out humor, inspiration, and reality of personal circumstances in health, family, and career, it also brought out unfortunate emotions of the current age we now live. Oh, I could write a rationale of life is hard, no one is perfect, so on and so on. But in reality, I am ashamed of sometimes showing my true colors. Since I am a person that often wears their emotions on their sleeve to which at times I have little self-control, I have permanently deleted all my Facebook accounts.

I am reverting to old-school methods and a creative one to stay connected with those people who I value in my life. Will I use other social media apps? Sure, but for different creative, personal, and business reasons.

A friendship journal

A primary school acquaintance who connected with me on Facebook and who has become one of my most cherished friends and I have started a handwritten living letter. I asked her if she would be willing to stay in touch by each of us writing an entry in a journal that we would continue to return to one another for their next entry. It is become a wonderful way of staying connected with her since we live in different states.

Remember a time when you waited by the mailbox to receive a letter?

While it is a bit more expensive to mail a small journal than a letter, it is priceless to me. I look forward to reading her latest entry and then returning to past our journal entries to refresh memories. (Hopefully, our new government administration will not make dramatic changes so she and I can continue our living letter.)

Could a telephone call or an email accomplish the same result?

Perhaps. But reading her thoughts in her own penmanship with the color of ink she chose to write with, feeling the indentations on the journal pages, I almost feel her physical presence there across the kitchen table from me as if we were sharing a hot cup of chamomile tea. I love the thought that she takes the time out of her day to share her life with me and that I matter enough to drive to the post office and pay the expense to ship the journal back for my next journal entry.

This is the art of true friendship.

What I value most about the living letter is that it is an expression of our devotion to each other as friends, encouragers of one another, and the discernment we share with another on topics that concern us. Our entries are honest, intimate, and raw at times and the corresponding entry is met with grace, kindness, and compassion even if the topic is not totally aligned.

Another local acquaintance was asking me about what will eventually happen to the completed journals when I explained to him the idea behind the living letter. It is a question I will need to pose in my next journal entry. I suppose I would leave directions in my will that the journals would be forwarded to my friend to do with whatever she finds fitting if I should pass before her.

Better Social Media Decisions.

It has been almost 2 weeks since I have been completely off Facebook. It has been the best decision I have made in 2025. I have less self-imposed stress and anxiety.

Here are my other social medicia decisions: My substack account is my creative outlet only including my podcast, The Owl’s Hootcast. I am maintaining an Instragram account for photos and the silly pet reels. My Threads account is for news, and yes, I still make my politically charged posts there because ‘for the love of scotch! – I still need to resist somehow! Connect with me however you will…. or not.

If you would like to start a living letter with me, email me at Hoot@thebloggingowl.com.

Live in peace,

Value, an agreement with myself

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Since my medical retirement from my career, I found my days lacking productivity even though I have hobbies and volunteer activities. I wasn’t done ‘working,’ It was not about compensation but offering the value of my time.

I found a part-time job that I chose to do for two days a week for a book reseller. It is a physical job of sorting and scanning books in a warehouse. Maneuvering hand-trucks of 1,000-pound gaylords of used books to deposit used books and media of all genres and all conditions onto a conveyor line to be sorted, scanned, and thrown into empty gaylords for resale, sell-backs, or recycling. The job is tiring, dusty, and exhilarating at the same time.

I absolutely LOVE this job because of its physicality and to be surrounded by books!

Pay is a pittance. That isn’t the point. I am productive. At the end of the day, I am exhausted and joyful. I am allowed to bring home any book considered rejected for recycling. My colleagues are all younger than me, they are of diverse backgrounds and genders. We talk about books, sports, foods, restaurants, and our favorite streaming series. Of course, I throw in a little owl wisdom and mentoring here and there.

I have never had a physical job outside of lugging computer bags and overnight bags on airplanes to client appointments, or driving endless long hours closing hours, or sitting behind a desk ad-nauseum answering telephone calls and emails. I told my youngest son when explaining the job to him that my employer from perspective is paying for my cardio workout rather than me paying for a gym membership.

Books, books, and more books

While my husband is happy that I found an activity that brings my joy as he continues to work, he is not particularly happy with the number of books I bring home at the end of the day. I often sneak the bags in from my car when I know he is not around. I often get caught though and when he peers into my office, I get the roll of the eyes.

I have found some wonderful rare and expensive books. These I have given to my boss along with a contact for rare books so he can make a better profit than recycling them into kitty litter, plus my heart soars knowing I have saved these rare gems for someone else to love.

Children’s books galore! I am creating a marketing plan for these as well. So many books I loved as a child and books that my children adored reading too. I cannot allow them to be recycled. So, I offered my marketing ability to my boss to find a more profitable income stream than simply allowing these books to be recycled.

Certainly, these books that are believed not profitable to be resold or sold back through other income streams could be donated to charitable organizations. My employer is a small recent start-up. He is adding more employees and processes to grow his young business. I find value in helping him with my experience and knowledge and he is gladly accepting my offer to be of value.

Know your value

I wrote a short post on my Substack this morning, Know your value. (I hope you will subscribe to my Substack feed as I post new and often different content there.) In my post, I noted my wisdom to writing, but that same wisdom applies to any of our endeavors. What problem am I a solving today is just one of the questions I speak of in that post.

We must know our value. It is an agreement we must make with ourselves to never undercut our individual value to be taken advantage of. That does not mean we ought to take less monetarily, per se to get our foot in the door at times, but it must not be below what our knowledge and integrity are worth.

What is that standard of value in what we offer or do?

As I mentioned in my Substack post, the answer is different depending on individual circumstances or phase of life. I have earned a hundred times more per hour than what I am earning now, but that is okay. I am bringing all the value of my past career to this one and working more joyfully than I have before.

The Blogging Owl online bookstore

Lastly, I have had my own online bookstore for the last three years – see The Owl Bookshelf page above. http://www.pangobooks.com/bookstore/thebloggingowl The books listed and that have sold are from my personal library prior to my part-time book associate gig. The phone on this blog post is not even a quarter of my inventory because I do not list every book I read. Some books are dear friends that I cannot part with no matter the space or price.

+++++
It breaks my heart to see books being recycled into kitty litter or some other new use, but it is better then rotting in a landfill. My heart is with the authors who labored to give birth to their book. Obviously, some of these books that travel to the conveyor belt are trade books that are massed produced. It is the independently published book that produces the most sorrow, or the classics that no longer receive appreciation due to them. I am sure you can envision my husband’s eye roll when I speak of such sorrow.

Live in peace,

Change, making the connection

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My spirit has been nudged and prompted these past months until I could no longer ignore it. While I have many connections – family, friends, followers, colleagues, neighbors, community, yet there is a pervasive longing and loneliness deep within the marrow of my soul like the leukemia that seeps from my physical bones.

I realized that my search for connection locally and far away was not coming from a pure heart or pure purpose.

Where is that purity of purpose?

I withdrew from my church volunteer activities. I vowed to refrain from bingeing bad habits and time-wasting streaming activities that were harmful to me in mind, body, and spirit. This was my Lenten promise to draw closer for clarity and purity of purpose.

Every day and every evening

I am awakened by the voices of angels singing.

These same angelic voices sweetly sing me to sleep.

I am imperfect in my vow to withdraw from what makes me angry and anxious, but I will continue to listen to the angels sing in hopes they can draw me closer still.

Change is intentional.

Change requires making choices. It is not enough to dream of changing. It is not enough to desire change. In order to change, I need to make a decision. I must choose to change. There is no growth without change.

There is no change without loss, and there is no change without pain. I can grieve the loss because it brought the comfort of sameness. Or I can cheer the change for the joy that comes from growing into something new and expected.

After my Whipple surgery and throughout my recovery from bile duct cancer, I chose to exercise my body in mind, body, and spirit to become the fittest I could be as an act of gratitude for my medical teams, my prayer warriors, and those who lifted me in encouragement and support not only for the biliary issues but also for the leukemia that I continue to be managed. God has me either way the outcome. There still lurked indecision and procrastination to a fulfilling purpose.

The way I think determines the way I feel. It determines the way I act. Change requires a new way of thinking in order to make better choices and to determine a better course of action. In order to feel differently, a change of mind is the place to start, or is it? … Perhaps, it is the spirit that draws closer.

I think about myself, my relationships, the economy, my country, the world… my writing – past, present, and future. Changing how I think will eventually change my emotions and my behavior. It undoubtedly and hopefully will change my writing for the better and with clear purpose. Forgiving myself is how I must start changing my mind and my heart in order to draw closer in spirit for the clarity and purity of that purpose. I know God wants me to use my voice for good, so I draw closer to find out how.

“Be joyful, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

“He who has God and everything else has no more who has God only.” C.S. Lewis

“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.” Lao Tzu

“Rejection is the deepest hurt in life. Do not seek retribution but seek resilience in mind, body, and spirit.” S.L. Prielipp-Falzone

On this second Sunday of Lent, I am still as confused as I was on Ash Wednesday. May the angels sing (perhaps a little louder).

Live in Peace,

Please note that The Blogging Owl page on the Facebook platform will be deleted on May 1, 2025. Please follow this blog for future connections.

Discouragement, now is not the time

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Discouragement brings ineffectiveness. Now is not the time to become discouraged, but the time to resist. Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy. History has taught us this time and time again.

Great people do not know how to give in or give up.

Great people do not quit. The fact is that great people are just ordinary people with extraordinary amount of determination. We saw this play out on national television on Friday, February 28, 2025. A comedian elected president of his small country, Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, who would not be intimidated by Russia nor the United States. Europe and the rest of democratic world now embraces Ukraine even more fully because of Trump’s setup television fiasco. They are now calling for a new leader for world peace. It is no longer the United States.

The American people, ordinary citizens who savor our democracy and freedoms must rise up against authoritarianism and injustice. Inept people and oligarchs now rule. They threaten our rule of law, our very health and econonmic well-being, and put our national security at risk. MAGA who support the current Trump administration want the rest of us to believe that Trump is only enacting what he campaigned to do – drain the swamp of a bloated Federal government. The Federal government may be bloated but this administration is throwing the baby out with the bath water, as well as the very ideals which this country was built upon. Trump IS enacting Project 2025 yet still lies about it. I predict that within the four years the United States will be worse off than the 2008 global crisis, the 2020 global pandemic, and possibly World War III may hit our teeming shores.

I refuse to become one of those voices that normalizes what is going on and to think that there is nothing I can do.

I will use the power of my voice with my elected officials to badger them to rise up against tyranny and the injustice of this administration.

I will not be intimidated by social media who think I am hysterial or those in my community who would try to drown out my voice like Trump and Vance did to Zelensky.

The time for hand wringing is over.

Why do we as a culture persist in attempting to control the lives of others?

When we long for things to be the way we want them to be, rather than the way they are, that is not a quest for freedom. That’s resistance. Especially if what we want flies in the face of reality and causes others pain.

We need to accept that we are no longer at peace with the rest of the world, and it is by our own making. Our need to control everything and every person has brought us to this point… of no return? I hope not.

The opposite of control is not laziness or apathy. We cannot release everything to the wind, watching passively as this country sinks into darkness hoping with the potential of the next administration can turn the light switch on.

We have a choice to make. We can make peace with life by accepting the world as it is right now, surrendering to riding the deafening waves as they crash down upon us. Or we can rise up as ordinary citizens with the freedoms we still have with sense and knowledge that anything, everything is possible. I still believe if we rise up now we can turn off from this wide destructive road to be the beacon of hope once again and to finding our way to that narrow gate to a better life.

The New Colossus, By Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Live in peace,

Rise Up! Initiative against despair

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Despair. The sense of having done something irreversible tends to make us despair. Whenever we realize we have not taken advantage of a magnificent opportunity, we are apt to sink into despair. There will be experiences like this in each of our lives. We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives where we may be unable to lift ourselves out of them.

How many Americans are now regretting their decision last November?

How many Americans are now saying, “I told you so.”

How can we resist despair, rage, and feelings of powerlessness?

When I was diagnosed with leukemia in 2020 and then diagnosed with bile duct cancer almost 4 years later, necessitating Whipple surgery. Both diagnoses and treatments changed my life forever. It would have been easy to sink into despair with one cancer diagnosis, but two?

Joan Baez once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.”

In the face of despair, fear, and anger, I consciously and deliberately chose the power of action and knowledge to confront my new terrifying future. After all, I had two young sons who were watching me on how I would overcome these adverse times more than any other situation like my previous financial hardship due to a career loss. New jobs can be had but cancer posed a whole new type of loss for my family. My new role as a mother with cancer was to arm them with knowledge and inspire them with a positivity in the battles that certainly await us as a family.

My thoughts of my perceived “energy” in mind and spirit empowered me to look at each set back in my cancer treatments to create an actual change in being, solving persistent problems in other areas of my life, restoring and maintaining psychological well-being.

This change in being takes practice. For example, if you want to build muscles and lose weight, you must exercise. If you want to learn a new subject or skill, you study. If you want to enrich yourself to feel joy, you feed your spirit. Anyone who has tried to do any of these things knows that it is not easy. Sometimes resignation sets in.

Despair differs from resignation.

While a person in both cases lack hope, the one who merely resigns themselves regarding the current level of pain as unbearable. If a person resigns themselves to the circumstances at hand, then the person accepts the hand their dealt, however grudgingly, they go on.

The person in despair, by contrast, has not simply lost hope but judges the pain of the current situation as intolerable. There is no prospect for better days ahead, but neither can one continue like this whose sense that their cross is too heavy to bear.

I chose to speak about my health openly and frankly because despair is profoundly lonely. Despair was not the image I wanted my sons to see. A burden we share with someone else is typically not as heavy to bear as when we bear it alone. When we rise up and truly share a burden, we stop short of despair.

Conversely, true despair leads not only to loneliness but estrangement. It weakens the ties that bind us – the despaired and the rest of the world.

Despair brings me back to what many are experiencing today.

In pondering whatever has you despairing, rather than falling further into the depths of the abyss resigning yourself to whatever may happen, rise up!

We actually do have a great deal to lose, and things can get much worse than they are right now. We can find a separate way to end the descent into darkness based not on the expectations of future improvement, but on a newly found recognition of how much better we can improve our situation when we rise up together with the power of knowledge and decency.

When despair is everywhere, hope is difficult to sustain. But in today’s world of political chaos and threats against the U.S. Constitution, hope is not the best solution. Action is!

Our children are watching us.

Live in peace,

PC Sunrise Image: sl prielipp-falzone
(c) 2010 – 2025 All Rights Reserved

Love, the complexity and compassion

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Valentine’s Day is over. While there are many people that celebrate this day, there are in my guess an equal number or more people who do not welcome the day or celebrate it.

William Shakespeare wrote in this play, Macbeth, “Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart, and bids it break.”

There is much sadness in the world and finding a way to articulate that experience can provide relief for those who cannot find words for what they feel. Sadness is a powerful emotion of disconnection from someone or something that you value. Profound sadness, as it relates to love, can be triggered by an observation, event, a remembrance that your love is unrequited, or an acknowledgement that that the object of your affection is inaccessible.

Sadness is felt as heavy emptiness that may be coupled with a yearning to have what is unattainable or to bring back what was lost. Love adds intensity and complexity to sadness. – the desire, passion, or craving an experience with love that becomes flavored by the anguish, dejection, and helplessness felt with sadness.

What is love anyway?

We can find a definition of love in the dictionary… a strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, such as a parent, child, friend, or pet… is a way of looking at companion love.

Another dictionary definition concerns passionate love… a profoundly tender, passionate affection, often mingled with sexual desire, for another person.

The best definition of love that I have found in my research on this topic is from 1 Corinthians 13 because the definition of love described here is not only for those who we love; but the love we must give ourselves.

“Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous.
It does not sing its own praises.
It is not arrogant.
It is not rude.
It does not think about itself.
It is not irritable.
It does not keep track of wrongs.
It is not happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth.
Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.
Love never comes to an end.”
Verses 4-8

Owning our power to love

If we feel like we have little control or power over our lives, we can start to feel helpless and hopeless. Though we do not have control over everything, if we look deep within ourselves, we own our own power to love. Love cannot be contingent on how others feel about us, what they think about us, or what they say about us. Validation from others is addictive. We can become unhealthily reliant on it. When we slide into deflecting from our truth on a regular basis, we sink into seeking validation from others than braving to love even ourselves.

Happiness does not lead to joy and gratitude. Internal self-love leads to happiness. We are human. We all fall short. We all make mistakes. When we judge and criticize ourselves, we end up feeling unlovable. When we shed light on our emotions, our fears, our body, our voice, everything that makes us who we are, we can take the first step to stop self-bullying to self-compassion.

Cultivating love

By practicing 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, we cultivate our power to love ourselves and others. When we are not feeling loved, whether that love is not self-directed or not received from others, it may mean we are not putting enough love out into the world. It could be a result from withholding forgiveness, feeling guilty about something done in the past, or hidden anger.

Be of service. Every time we step outside of ourselves into the arena of helping another person, in any capacity, we tell ourselves that we have something to offer – that we are enough, and that we can have influence. Be mindful not to slip into caretaking to try to save others. We can only control our actions and reactions. But when we show up, we can be the light and instill hope and be helpful. And in doing that, we set ourselves free from sadness.

Where is the compassion?

“The message that you have heard from the beginning is to love each other.” 1 John 3:11

You do not have to be a person of faith to have learned and to understand the above Bible verse. To love is to be compassionate. To be compassionate is to see the true nature of suffering we all face. One who feels compassion views pain, disrespect, injustice and other challenging emotions and situations without judgment, the acts empathetically and assertively to address the issues with the ultimate aim of creating unity and harmony in the world.

It is ironic to me that the best definition of love comes from the Holy Bible, and yet if social media is any indicator, many people who feel sadness say it has come from the judgment of professed Christians. The Holy Bible’s definition of love does not include stipulations or exceptions. There are several examples in the Bible that states that God wants us to simply love others.

Where is the compassion? Everyone is doing the best that they can. Or are they? The next time we are tempted to judge or to blame someone for their unhappiness or ours, stop and look within, use compassion to counter negative thoughts and actions.

When we see others living unsuccessfully, it is because of limited ability, perspective, resources, skills, or unquestioned acceptance. Can we take a moment to imagine the person who has wronged us or is not living a life we would be but having done the best they could under the circumstances has fell below our understanding? What does this perspective create inside us?

If we can view the other person’s anger as a call for help or as a message that they are in pain, will we be wiser or more generous in our response? If we respond with compassion that restores calm and diffuses volatile situations, our interpersonal relationships will benefit then it is good for everyone’s soul. When we care for others who disappoint us or disagree with us by showing compassion and understanding, we can focus on their distress or needs, feel concern for them, and work toward providing them with what they need. We all will then be rewarded with growing our well-being.

Adopting a new attitude toward love

When we adopt the attitude of compassion, we move from criticism to forgiveness, from separation to unity, and from anger to grace. We meet everyone including ourselves with unconditional love without blame or judgment, while aspiring toward peace and harmony. The result: we invite love to move in and that is worth celebrating.

Live in peace,

Grit, a call to action

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Today is the day of the big game, Kansas City Chiefs versus the Philadelphia Eagles and the end to the ‘24-‘25 National Football season. It should have been my beloved Detroit Lions versus the Buffalo Bills to vie for the ultimate trophy and the gawdy encrusted ring, but the football gods and the referees determined otherwise.

Grit is passion tempered with patient persistence

“Seek patience and passion in equal amounts. Patience alone will not build the temple. Passion alone will destroy its walls.” Dr. Maya Angelou

Coach Dan Campbell and General Manager, Brad Holmes brought grit to the Detroit Lions locker room and ushered in an era of winning that the Detroit Lions fanbase has been yearning for decades. Yet, with all the talk of grit, “you are made for games like this,” failure these last two years to reach the ultimate prize has broken the hearts of not only Detroit but newfound fans worldwide.

Master Sheng Yen’s “Being Natural,” offers a liberating and universal perspective:

“Do not fear failure. Whatever has happened in the past is behind you; do not worry about it happening again. Before you achieve success experiencing failure is both natural and necessary. Just as a baby learns to walk by failing repeatedly, is this considered failure?”

We have been conditioned to see failure as a permanent mark against us. Instead, we must resist labeling ourselves failures by embracing failure as a natural and essential part of learning and growing.

Grit is a call to action

It is persistence times, perseverance times, determination times, dedication that equals grit. The grit of optimism is our expectation that the future will be good, and adverse events are temporary and specific, rather than permanent and global. I do not know too many people who are optimistic right now except perhaps the Kansas City Chiefs and Donald Trump, but we cannot allow our lives to be defined by isolated successes, but by an intricate, often messy accumulation of experiences that shape who we are. To flourish with all the grit we can muster is to work on the disowned parts of each of us that cause us to stumble and fail.

Resilience is the gift of failure

Resilience in the face of systematic or social challenges is particularly crucial to rise up with collective action and personal strength. We ultimately strengthen our perseverance, adaptability, and self-trust each time we stumble and manage to rise again dismantling barriers to success.

Resilience is generally considered to be the ability to recover or adapt well to stress, adversity, or trauma; it ensures that change and challenge improve, rather than hurt our lives, it fortifies rather than weakens the spirit. Resilience helps us to see that difficulties need not leave us eternally damaged only temporarily challenged.

How do we grit our teeth through failure?

It takes courage.

Brene Brown remarked, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing… Vulnerability is not weakness. It is our greatest measure of courage.”

Chris Jones, Defensive Tackle for the Kansas City Chiefs, is not afraid to show his vulnerability on the sidelines each time the National Anthem is sung.

It takes courage to face our fears, to rise again after failing, and embrace the vulnerability of imperfection. When we summon our courage, we discover new possibilities, strengths, and a path forward. We must flow into the state of active engagement where skills and talents are aligned with the demands of the task at hand.

Failure can often make us feel muzzled, restricted, devalued, unheard, or dismissed. When we allow a feeling of powerlessness to become the heart of our distress over failure, the emotions of anger, disgust, fear, and frustration lead to anxiety, desperation, or depression. A sense of being fragmented can set in leaving us to question who we are or who others are at their core, and what the world is generally. Have courage!

Not everyone is playing today for a shiny trophy or an oversized gawdy ring, but that does not mean you are not pursuing a meaningful goal. Grit is a call to action to overcome your fear of failing. Honor and embrace that child you once were when learning to walk. Now, go out there and bite some kneecaps off! Go Lions! We will see you next year in the big game! #OnePride

Live in Peace,

PC: Football image by Oliver Cardall from Pixabay

Reality, a crisis of meaning

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Alethic nihilism is from the Greek root Aletheia, or truth. Alethic nihilism refers to the rejection of “truth” or reality. Folks who subscribe to it tend to reject facts and empirical evidence as being entirely in the eye of the beholder. This is a slippery slope because once verifiable facts become not only objects of skepticism, but totally suspect and outright invalidated, then nothing is true.

Folks viewing the world through this lens tend to believe that there is no point in fact-checking anything because nothing is factual or real, and this may have multiple, serious real-world effects. Anyone can claim anything, such as a person “never said or did this,” and it’s just as valid as someone else’s fact-checked, reputably sourced statement, complete with citations and even the audio-video recording of a person saying or doing that thing. This can allow outright lies to be seen as “no big deal” or viewed as legitimate or valid.

Are we lacking a moral compass in which we do not know where to turn or what to believe?

Have we lost our conviction and certitude because we lack confidence, purpose, and direction?

A crisis of meaning

Nihilism, in short, is the doctrine that life has no meaning or value. The modern root causes of nihilism have been traced back to disillusionment with both religion and science. We live in a state of mind when many people have reached the point of meaning as being meaningless.

At the height of his writing career, Leo Tolstoy was nearly driven mad by the conviction that life was meaningless. Tolstoy wondered why he should care about career, family, friends, or anything else for that matter. Tolstoy was not alone in suggesting that if death is the end of life, then life is meaningless.

Buddha mused while contemplating all the good things of life – youth, health, riches – “What do they mean to me? Some day we may be sick, we shall become aged, from death there is no escape.”

The meaning of life

The meaning of life is to usually wonder whether one’s own life has a larger or more important purpose than mere living, possibly as part of an influential political or social movement or simply providing for the well-being of one’s immediate family and further generations. To question this meaning of life, it seems, is like the proverbial ripple-making stone skipped across the stream. Whatever the answers emitted from the larger or minute ripples, one thing is clear: humans continue to speculate about life’s ultimate meaning even when death eventually comes to us all.

Cultural hopelessness

Hope involves a desire that is held with a certain conviction that the desire will be accomplished. To hope is to trust certain future outcomes. Hopelessness is the reverse.

Some people choose nihilistic mindsets characterized by feelings of meaninglessness where nothing in life, work, or society holds meaning. “It’s hopeless!” Once someone gets caught up in that nihilistic cycle, they tend to only embrace information that reinforces their hopelessness.

Our mindsets serve to define who we are today and who we will become in the future. We must recognize that our mindsets (beliefs, opinions, feelings, and thoughts) affect many aspects of our reality, including how we interact with others. In other words, we have a choice.

We can stay stuck in the vicious cycle of hopelessness or continue the ongoing search for meaning. Meaning must be our essential core competency to become more fully engaged, resilient, energetic, creative, and productive. To understand what is truly meaningful to us, a change in mindset must first occur. Our mindsets become the foundation or platform for achieving our various personal and collective aims, at the same time, determine the next steps and direction of our life to which our current reality will take.

These are challenging times we are living. We can choose to adopt new competencies such as deciding to slow down to determine how to respond to whatever happens to us or what is being told to us. Are we on autopilot? Or are we conscious of whether we are actively reflecting on a situation? There is plenty worth fighting for, however, be careful of following the herd on the news and social media or sinking into the current culture of hopelessness.

We are being spun in a dizzying circle with many hasty actions and decisions these past weeks from our current presidential administration and the world’s reaction. Our own individual meaning of life and what we owe to the lives of others will direct our response to this whirlwind reality. It may determine the purpose of our country, our community, and ourself, and eventually our case for hope.

What is your answer to the meaning of life?
Are you hopeful or hopeless?
Is your purpose on autopilot?

When death does come to us all, we will each be weighed in the balance of today.

Live in Peace,

PC: Tree Image by freepik.com

Peace, the invisible war

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History’s generational trauma: Humanity is always at war. The causes of war are psychological, biological, economic, and political. War is the impulses of men, competitive groups, the materialism needs of society, and nations fluctuating power.

Christians believe the only everlasting peace is through one’s faith in Jesus Christ. Whether you are a Christian, agnostic, atheist, or believer of another religious or cultural faith, peace on earth is an invisible war to which impulses of men and nations rest only to fight again.

Each of us still has a heavy responsibility to work toward a world-wide political organization, social philosophy, and public morality that can be adequate to prevent wars between nations. The only hope for us is to work for a better world within the framework of what we have, imperfect as it is. This framework can be improved, and such improvement must not rise from withdrawal, apathy, or exhaustion, but intelligent and vigorous participation in existing affairs.

Let’s back up to the public’s morality. Whose definition of morality?

Morality is not judged by outcomes, but by justice and logic. We must act justly and logically, focusing on our motives rather than outcomes.

Yet outcomes are the order of business, i.e., mass deportations of undocumented families and economic tariffs for not bending to a nationalistic dictatorial motive to name just a few.

Virtue is the kind of knowledge, moral excellence, goodness, righteousness, based on ethical principles. Why is DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion), protecting our natural resources and climate change considered to be a wasteful unintelligible burden and not a humanitarian virtue?

Is peace a WOKE ideology too?

If so, then I strive to be WOKE. Here is my definition of the term WOKE:

W = to be concerned about another person’s, an animal, or natural resource’s WELFARE.
O = to be OPEN-MINDED, unprejudiced; un-bigoted; impartial
K = to be KIND to one another; starting from benevolence
E = to express EMPATHY toward one another; the vicarious expression of emotions, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

As a Christian, I adhere to Matthew 22:36-39, “Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. The second greatest commandment is like it which is: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

If I am to be weighed in the balance, then this is my scale.

Christianity aside why is loving our neighbor so difficult?

Christianity is not all the same in the eyes of Christians who espouse from the same book, the Holy Bible. Why is being concerned about another person different as they may be from ourselves, or about animals and our natural resource’s welfare by showing kindness, empathy and perhaps resources so criminal when expensing justice and logic? Remember, money is the root of all evil.

No one’s mind can be influenced unless you meet that person where they are. Open-mindedness, kindness, empathy, and the motive being their welfare must also be present.

Intellectual humility

Fostering intellectual humility per Aseem D. Desai, M.D., The Paradox of Certainty – Why doubt is a sign of wisdom, wrote about open-mindedness and doubt. He provided his four strategies for fostering intellectual humility in daily life:

1. Approach conversation with a genuine desire to understand rather than the need to convince or win.
2. Challenge your own beliefs by engaging with perspectives that differ from your own.
3. Reflect on what you know, how you know it, and what you might be missing.
4. Embrace the fact that not knowing is an opportunity for growth.

Dr. Desai concludes that a willingness to question, reflect, and remain open paves the way for progress.

Paving the way for progress

A person’s motive is not as invisible as some would lead you to believe. Even without being involved directly in military action, we are at war – interpersonally, civilly, internationally; it is humanity’s generational trauma.

Who then will be humanity’s therapist? Our current leaders? The next generation? Or you?

Yes, even at peace time we are at war. Only our desire to love our neighbor as ourselves will we begin to heal humanity’s generational wounds to live in peace. So, I ask you, what is your motive? Are you willing to help pave the way for progress?

Live in peace,

Scales Image by Edward Lich from Pixabay

Truth, ditching the social playbook

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I do not know anyone who has not felt January 2025’s middle finger. Who has not suffered loss, anxiety, and frustration so far this year? How do we move forward?

There are two places each of us needs to go often:

• The place that heals you
• The place that inspires you

The only way to go to these places is to make a straight path by ignoring looking our feet and instead, look directly forward to find that personal fence post in the distance. Then with eyes transfixed walk straight toward that place. If you have locked your focus on that place other than down at your feet, the path will lead you straight to getting you closer to your version of success.

We all have a special path – a path where success cannot be measured by human praise. By embracing our unique quirks and being our eccentric self, we can ditch the social playbook and free ourselves from the shackles of conformity, and the social anxiety to boost our self-confidence and unleash our creativity, our critical thinking and innate scientist.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent
people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest
critics and endure the betrayal of false
friends; To appreciate beauty, to find
the best in others; To leave the world
a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social
condition; To know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

The world needs different perspectives and critical thinking mixed with the unconventional. We must use our special paths to dare to be different from the propagandist, so we can ferret out the propaganda that prevents our success.

The current social playbook

“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.” Leo Tolstoy

If we are to have a clear understanding of our present-day conditions and what to do about them, we must be able to recognize propaganda. The Internet, AI, other advancements in technology, and the prevailing news media opinions versus fact-checking, corroborating journalism is making our ability to recognize, analyze and appraise propaganda more difficult.

What is propaganda?

Propaganda is generally understood to be the expression of opinion or action by individuals or groups deliberately designed to influence opinions or actions of other individuals or groups with reference to predetermined ends. The propagandist is trying to “put something across,” good or bad, whereas a scientist is trying to discover “truth and fact.”

The Institute for Propaganda Analysis (IPA) was a U.S. based organization operating from 1937 to1942, composed of social scientists, opinion leaders, historians, educators, and journalists to spark rational thinking and provide a guide to help the public have well-informed discussions on current issues. The IPA focused on domestic propaganda issues that might become possible threats to the democratic ways of life. The reason given for the dissolution of the IPA in 1942 was insufficient funding and not because of World War II. (Credit: Wikipedia)

The IPA contributed 7 device tricks or techniques to recognizing propaganda:

1. Name-Calling:

This technique is to make us form a judgement without examining the evidence on which it should be based. The propagandist appeals to our hate and fear by giving individuals, groups, nations, races, policies, practices, beliefs, and ideals a “bad name” which he/she/they would have us condemn and reject.

2. Glittering Generalities:

The propogandist identifies his/her/their program with virtue by using words associated with highly valued concepts and beliefs. This technique is a device to make us accept and approve without examining the evidence.

3. Transfer:

The propagandist carries over the authority, sanction, and prestige of something we respect and revere to something he/she/they would have us accept like religion or the nation.

4. Testimonial:

The propagandist uses testimonials or endorsements to extol the virtue of whatever they are attempting to sell to us.

5. Plain Folks:

This is a device used by politicians, labor leaders, businesspeople, ministers, educators to win the confidence of the common folk by appearing that they are one of them.

6. Card Stacking:

This is a device in which the propagandist employs all the arts of deception to win our support for themselves, their group, their nation, race, policy, practice, or ideal. He/she/they stack the cards against the truth by under-emphasizing or over-emphasizing to dodge issues and facts. He/she/they resort to lies, censorship, and distortion – omitting facts and offering false testimony.

7. Bandwagon:

This technique is to employ symbols, colors, music, movement, all the dramatic arts in an attempt to follow the crowd. He/she/they hold rallies, townhalls, fill stadiums, and marches millions in a parade to show, “everybody is doing it.”

All these device tricks and techniques play on the emotions of people. It is not just done in the political realm but by employers and social groups. They can make us glow with pride or burn with hatred. They play on our emotions. To say this is not to condemn emotion, an essential part of life, or to assert that all predetermined ends of propogandists are “bad,” but people need to search out the facts to determine the truth so as not to be fooled.

Card stacking is the hardest to detect because it is adroitly executed or because we lack the information necessary to detect the lie. But now that you know these seven devices may we all be more successful personally, professionally, socially, and politically in search of the truth and facts.

As you can see 2025 is no different than 1937. If we are to lead successful, well-lived lives in which Emerson wrote, we must ditch the current social playbook. We must climb out of the weeds, go to those places that heal and inspire us as individuals focused on our special paths to ferret out the propaganda that keeps us from success.

Don’t forget to go to those two places for healing and inspiration often. These important places keep us on track with our core values, wide-eyed on that fence post forward marching on our unique path toward a life well-lived.

Live in peace,

PC: Image of fence post by Ralf Ruppert from Pixabay

Empathy, a lost art

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Basic humanity allows us to recognize the inherent value of people, however, if anyone wants to active an innate sense of people then we need to feel connected to them or identify with them based on shared values, goals, or experiences. How do we feel connected to them without the ability to express empathy?

Empathy implies being aware of or sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing another’s feelings, thoughts, motives, and experiences. Empathy is to enhance – not to harm or judge others.

What is empathy?

“It means very little to know that a million Chinese are starving unless you know one Chinese who is starving.” John Steinbeck

One cannot empathize with an abstract or detached feeling, but with the understanding of who a particular person is and what they are doing or trying to do. Do I have some idea where they came from and where they want to go? I must imagine myself in the situation they find themselves.

Empathy rests on the ability to understand that, being different, different people see things from a different perspective, and have different beliefs, desires, sensitivities, and so on. Empathy by facilitating social interaction, collective enterprise, resource redistribution, teaching and learning, and storytelling and other art forms, empathy increases the strength, stability, and resilience of society and its members.

Empathy provides a degree of distance in which to make normative judgements about a person or people being empathized with, and in which to weigh upon their best interests. Empathy is not sympathy. We can have empathic feelings but that does not mean we have to excuse behaviors or dismiss negative consequences for those behaviors. In fact, we can use our empathic insight to do two things: hold people accountable and fashion appropriate responses, i.e., the current immigration issue in the United States. Given the realities in which most immigrant families flee deserve empathy, and lots of it, not scoldings, threats, separation, or shaming.

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” are lines from Emma Lazarus’s 1883 poem, “The New Colossus”. The poem is engraved on a bronze plaque in the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty.

We are more likely to feel empathy toward somebody who we know personally, or like us than those in some circles believe our safety is fueled and justified by claims that the poor are undocumented immigrants, lazy free-loaders, and or drug addicts who do not deserve our charity. Given the realities in which most immigrant families flee or the circumstances that befall someone into addiction deserve empathy, and lots of it, not scoldings, threats, separation, or shaming. Even social media has taken to chastising the victims of the California wildfires because of their wealth.

“Please have empathy for people whether they are The Palisades or in Palestine.” Dave Chappelle, Saturday Night Live, January 18, 2025.

How can we lift our lamp of empathy?

The only reliable method of sustaining a sense of authentic empathy is through the creation of value and the consistent fidelity to the deepest core value within us for others who may not look, believe, or see as we do. Our experiences and circumstances are uniquely our own, but we are of one family – humanity. When we stop creating and expressing the value of empathy, their lives lose meaning and purpose; they move closer to a passive or deliberate suicide as do we.

Live passionately – lead with empathy.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

~ Emily Dickinson

May God Bless America!

Live in Peace,

Inauguration 2025, a society wish list

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Our beliefs and convictions give our lives purpose, meaning, and direction, but, unfortunately, they can also be a source of alienation, and division, both in our personal lives and even more so in the broader society. Awareness, connection, insight, and purpose are not qualities predetermined by our genes, nor by our upbringing and environment. Certainly, these qualities are influenced by these things, but they can also be nurtured and cultivated by forms of education, meditation, and journaling. These skills can be learned so one can become more aware and attentive if one has the desire and determination.

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Worship (1860)

The very fabric of our society is being torn apart by our inability to listen to one another. As the new (old) Trump administration is inaugurated, are we willing to train ourselves to be open, connected, and humble even when our most cherished beliefs are being threatened? As companies begin to dissolve themselves from DEI initiatives, the greater population will undoubtedly begin the backward transition before diversity, equity, and inclusion. DEI initiatives are Christian concepts, but even the hard right and the hard left have issues with DEI or Christianity.

So how do we benefit from a healthy set of beliefs without the migraine of social friction? How can we stay true to our values and views in a heated debate without becoming rigid and close-minded?

A society wish list

My first wish is that society becomes mindfully aware. This awareness will allow those who choose mindfulness how to thoughtfully respond rather than reacting out of habit, facilitating more constructive and respectful conversations.

My second wish is that society connect through cultivating empathy by trying to see the world from the other person’s perspective. This approach will hopefully bridge the widest gaps to find common ground and foster a sense of connection.

My third wish is that everyone develops the insight to stay humble. If we approach our beliefs with humility, acknowledging that our understanding of the world is always evolving. The insight of humility encourages continuous learning and fosters diversity of thought.

My fourth wish is that by living our principles, we find purpose by noticing how other people are bringing their deeper motivations and values to life in diverse ways. Purpose can be manifested if practice and stay true to own beliefs while fostering an attitude of recognition and respect.

Here is the rub – having the desire and determination. The hard right and the hard left may not have the desire and determination to be aware, insightful, humble or have purpose beyond their narcissistic principles to fulfil this wish list, but I believe there are enough people in the middle who do. It is the only way we can get back to trust and transparency not only in our elected government and officials but in all of our relationships.

As I weigh today in the balance and going forward, I know will do my utmost best to harmonize my inner self with the outer world to find purpose without compromising my beliefs and core values, then perhaps my fifth wish may come true – a less alienated and divided society that believes in the welfare of each person in mind, body, and spirit without stipulations or exceptions.

Live in peace,

Values, sitting alone with myself

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2024 was a difficult year for me in mind, body, and spirit due to personal health issues. As I recovered from these personal health challenges, I sat alone with myself on purpose. I did not willingly engage with family and friends. There was so much going on in the public world as well as my own personal world. I wondered if I was the same person before cancer, medical retirement, and where the continued spiraling of the United States and the world at large.

Why is introspection so important?

Introspection enhances the capacity to understand one’s interests and feelings, and more successfully achieve aspirations and cope with obstacles (and I will add in mind, body, and spirit). Introspection led me to identifying my core values to guide what I wanted and where I wanted to go at this point in my life.

Core Values

Psychologists recommend that we stay conscious of our values throughout our life because they can change as our career and personal life develops. I wholeheartedly believe that our aspirational values change, however our core values are the deeply ingrained principles that guide our actions; they serve as cultural cornerstones. Core values can never be compromised either for convenience or short-term gain.

Everyone’s set of core values is unique and influenced by their life experiences. I sat with myself during my health recovery period to consider and to put into words my top ten core values. I used the words of Oswald Chambers to remind me to stay true to myself.

“Sincerity means that the appearance of and the reality are exactly the same.” Oswald Chambers

I developed a list of 71 value words. I selected from this list my top ten core values and then grouped three values associated with these top ten core values. My process of selecting these core value groups was based on how I would describe my feelings and behaviors. I thought back to the best and most painful experiences in my life to reveal these core values. I then ranked the core value groups in order of their importance. This was a process over time and not one done in one sitting.

Role Models

What is a role model? Dictionary.com defines a role model as, “a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially younger people.”

Mentors can be role models, however, Dictionary.com defines a mentor as, “a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.”

My introspection determined two lists of people. Role models that I thought my core values derived were from the public sphere. My mentors were people personally known by me and that I interacted with over my lifetime. Some of those role models and mentors have passed away but they are thought of often.

What was the purpose of sitting with myself?

What I hear in my practice, Seeing Beyond Loss is that many people are aimless especially when they are experiencing a loss in their life. They are unable to articulate a sense of purpose or identity.

When we know our core values, we can find our purpose and what we want out of life. These core values guide our behavior and help us to make decisions. Identifying these core values brings a sense of safety and stability into our life especially after a loss (job, loved one, a pet, life-altering health diagnosis, retirement, or other life event), because we know what we want and what is important to us.

This core value endeavor coupled with writing them down including a my list of role models and mentors, I found that my core values were still approximately the same, but the order of their importance had changed. I feel more confident in finishing the race I am running and carrying out the mission I have been given.

Live in Peace,

Connections, A New Year

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“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we a man cold when he is only sad.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, American poet

Could it be that Longfellow was speaking of himself? Did he not have any meaningful connections?

He had difficulty coping with the death of his two wives particularly his second wife, Francis. Longfellow was noticeably quiet, reserved, and private; and in his later years was known for being unsocial and avoided leaving his home.

What is a meaningful connection?

People have an irresistible need for a deep sense of love and belonging. Brene’ Brown, Professor of the Houston Graduate College of Social Work states, “We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we are meant to.”

Brene’ Brown goes on to state that “we don’t function as we are meant to that in fact we break, we fall apart, we go numb, we ache, and we hurt others. We get sick.” A brain imaging study led by Ethan Kross at the University of Michigan and another study led by Shelley Taylor the University of California Los Angeles both suggest that we experience social connection as positive and rejection or loneliness as negative as during physical pain.

I believe a meaningful connection is a two-way street. Each person getting something from the relationship is the key for the relationship to be meaningful. It doesn’t mean pain free but one that is cherished because of shared love and pain. Meaningful is the ability to share vulnerabilities, common interests, values, and news of both successes and failures without fear of reprisals. A meaningful relationship is that person I call when I am anxious or upset, when I have fantastic news that I cannot wait to share, or when I need to simply vent. This is the same person who I be happy if they called to tell me the same things in their life.

A meaningful connection – a relationship – is when we are genuinely interested in each other’s well-being.

We all crave meaningful connections, but a meaningful relationship is not on social media based on the number of likes or followers. We don’t have to give up these connections online or the in-person acquaintances, but quality is more important than quantity for connections to be meaningful.

+++++

I volunteer at my church on Monday afternoons at an after-school program for middle school and high school students. Carolyn is a special needs middle school student who is always smiling even when she is sad. I always ask her how her day went, and her answer is always the same, “Not good.” I always ask her if she would like to talk about it. Again, her answer is always the same, “no” but then she will come back to me to tell me. Kids bully her at school and online. She sadly speaks of having only one friend and they had gotten into an argument. She will not say the subject of the argument but that she was sad about it. I explained to her that all we need is one good friend and even good friends have disagreements. Her face brightened and then she told me that they had made up. I told her that one good friend is a friend to cherish because you both want what is best for each other. Facebook and other social media apps can be a fun way to meet other people but that doesn’t mean they are devoted friends.

++++

Nothing can replace in-person one-to-one connections; however, technology can help make first steps toward developing meaningful introductions easier which is why I believe many people have gravitated to social media – online dating apps, LinkedIn, etc. Yet, many people believe these easy sometimes superficial connections are about quantity than quality.

There is more emotional value in just one meaningful connection.

There is more emotional value in just one meaningful connection irrespective of how you come together with that other person.

Our greatest role model in making meaningful connections passed away yesterday, former President Jimmy Carter. Mr. Carter gave his life to service to his country, to his community, to the greater humanity of the world. He graced this planet for 100 years. He lived his principles, his values, and most importantly his Chrisian faith which he believed was his guiding purpose. He may not have fit in at the White House, but he taught us how to belong to humanity. Many have rushed to send their condolences often saying, rest in peace or RIP. I would say that Mr. Carter would respond to LIVE IN PEACE. And that is how I will now sign off on my blog posts…

LIVE IN PEACE,

P.S. The Owl HootCast, an 8-minute podcast will debut in January 2025. More to follow!

PC: Connecting Hands – Bianca VanDijk – http://www.Pixabay.com

Journal Wisdom of 2024

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It is that time of year where I look back at the previous year through the pages of my daily journal entries.
If you do not already maintain a daily habit of writing in a journal, I highly recommend it. I have kept a journal for most of my life since my grandmother gifted me a little light-blue diary with a lock and key when I was a child. Diaries today are typically day planners. Journals are entirely different than diaries.

Author, Joan Didion said, “I write entirely to find out what I am thinking, what I am looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear… I don’t what I think until I write it down.”

Her statement on writing always has resonated with me and it eloquently says why I journal.

A Journal Entry

My journal writing begins every morning and often I pick up writing again later in the day. I begin with a one or more Bible verses from devotions I read that morning or verses that help me to explore how I am feeling. I may even include quotes like the one from Joan Didion from above. My journal writing can be anything from thought exploration to what is concerning me in full sentences or simply poetry fragments. The last pages of my journal have names of people known or unknown to me who need prayer whether it is about a health issue, a surgery, a financial problem, recovering from an accident to help in discerning a way forward in mind, body, and spirit. I will go back and record next to their names any outcomes I have been made aware of.

There are many books on how to develop a habit of journal writing. It is no different than developing a habit to exercise every day or logging daily calorie intake. There are numerous books with journal prompts to spur the motivation to write.

What is the title of the journal?

Here are few that come to mind:

Gratitude journal – every day or on a regular basis write down what you grateful for and why.
Grievance journal – dump all your grievances in a journal so they don’t sprout in your mind, body, or spirit.
Memory journal – recording memories of someone or a pet that dies as a keepsake to share with others.
Prayer journal – writing out prayers and conversations with God.

My journal is all of these things all wrapped into one, however, some journal writers focus on a specific aspect of their life like gratitude or prayer.

The power of daily journal writing.

The power of journal writing for me shows me how I have grown over time in mind, body, and spirit and what things in my life I continue to have difficulty addressing or accepting. My journals have proven how God has had my back with prayers answered AND unanswered.

This past year was the most difficult year physically from a health perspective. My journals told the story of family, friends, people unknown to me, and my medical teams who came together to help me make a remarkable recovery and to buoy my mind and spirit. I will be forever grateful.

There were people who left my life whether by nature or nonsense. Their memories are all there written down to live on or let go. And there were plenty of grievances personally and on the world stage that I had plenty to write about too. Letting it all go in half-written poems or simply dumping it on the pages to preserve my peace.

All of 2024 is there – line after line, page after page, day after day, journal after journal.

What did I learn from the pages of my journals in 2024?

We are all orphans.

To be an orphan is to be alone in the world. The orphan within carries the feelings of not fitting in, of not belonging, of being different from the herd. The orphan within suffers from a yearning that cannot be fulfilled from the outside.

When I ignore my needs in favor of the needs of others, when I reject parts of myself because of fear and shame, the desire to be seen, praised, and admired, I create an internal sensitivity to this internal orphan. My unconscious set of beliefs, attitudes, and emotions shape my identity, my sense of belonging, lifestyle, and values. When my identity and values are at odds with the prevailing cultural environment, I feel rejected, betrayed, and orphaned.

I believe this is what most people have felt over decades and for some across the globe for centuries. This is why we as a country, a world community, are fiercely divided because we are a collection of orphans. We look to our leaders to rally orphans to a greater good for themselves – orphans who feel incapable of doing so for themselves in mind, body, and spirit. We elect these leaders to heal the loneliness and sorrow of the lost child that has been left behind or left out of prosperity, inclusion, and equality for all.

My belief after reading my 2024 journals is that when we turn to our inner wounded orphan with compassion, patience, and curiosity, we become our own champion.

What do I take from 2024 into 2025 to champion my inner orphan?

Purpose – living my life in a meaningful way in mind, body, and spirit.
Connection – connecting with people by sharing my love, empathy, and stimulating intellectual and compassionate curiosity.
Joy – having fun with my current interests and exploring new interests with others or on my own.

Purpose, Connection, Joy – what better time to start than on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Holidays to All!

May you each have a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Peace,

Fitting in, reframing the question

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“As artists, our mission is not to fit in or confirm to popular thinking. Our purpose is to value and develop our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.” Rick Rubin, American Record Producer

The question I asked myself not long ago was, “why don’t I fit in?”

I volunteer at my church on Monday afternoons. I was setting up the refreshments and to wasn’t setting the drinks out correctly per the group leader. “No, the bottles must stand up and the ice poured over them.” What does it matter? I thought. The drinks will still be cold particularly since we do not have enough ice to pour over them for the bottles to stand up. This was just one in an extensive line of things I haven’t done right over the years whenever I have volunteered at this church or past churches, schools, or wherever I found myself feeling like I did not fit in.

I don’t fit in.

Over the course of my career, I worked in male-dominated industries where men usually held executive positions. I rose to an executive position among them. I didn’t fit in their ‘club’ but that didn’t mean I did not belong. I was smart. I was productive. I was successful even if I was compensated less.

On the other hand, I am not a girls-night-out kind of person. I have never had a professional manicure or pedicure. I am not a girlie girl. I do not read trashy romance novels or watch Hallmark and Lifetime movies. I am not a kitchen-bitch. Although I can cook and bake, I find absolutely no enjoyment working in the kitchen. I confess this because I do not fit in with the traditional women at church or any church that I have been a member. Throw in my sons’ schools in that mix too with their bake sales, women-only teas, seasonal decorating, and party planning. I don’t fit into their ‘club’ either but that didn’t and doesn’t mean even today that I do not belong.

I don’t fit in with my family – I am the weird aunt, the oddball ‘woke’ cousin, the opinionated daughter/sister. I don’t fit in with my neighbors past or present. I am the woman with the funny looking glasses, who loves football, who writes poetry; and I cried when Prince passed away. I know people have laughed at me and not always in a positive way, but that doesn’t mean I don’t belong in my family or in my neighborhood.

I don’t fit in, but I belong.

“Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.” Bene’ Brown, Clinical Social Work, Academic Professor at University of Houston.

Psychology has defined belonging as a subjective feeling that one is an integral part of their surroundings, systems, including family, friends, school, work environments, communities, cultural groups, and physical places.

I don’t believe we are meant to fit in. We are unique individuals with unique gifts and talents. The question I must answer is, “Will I commit to belonging based on who I am, and give up on the soul-sucking goal of trying to fit in?”

Poet, John O’Donohue writes, “(belonging) suggests warmth, understanding, and embrace.”

I know I belong where I live, work, and worship. I believed God has called me there despite their critiques. We all belong to humanity, therefore, belonging can be nurtured and strengthened if we align our values more authentically and connect better to people, places, and our surrounding environments. Where we don’t belong is where toxity and hate resides and thrives.

How I belong is ignoring my brain and tuning into my heart and soul. As for church, God doesn’t hurt people only people hurt people. I hope more people will forget about fitting in and value themselves into belonging without reservations, stipulations, or exceptions.

Peace,

2025 – Words to live by

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It is that time of year again where I add three more words to live by to my list of words that matter. I began this list in 2017, and you can see my list of words in the tab above, A Matter of Words.

The three words I chose for 2024 were vulnerability, worthy, and forgiveness and were posted here on November 2, 2023. My usual mid-year follow post on these words were posted separately in a 3-part series – Vulnerability, a difficult step; Worthy, an external identity; and Brave, a friendship bracelet.

The only word from 2024 I have not yet written as a follow-up is forgiveness. While I have a greater empathy for those who are suffering as I have in mind, body, and spirit this past year, I am also doing my best to forgive and move on from the recent political election.

As a woman, mother, wife, Christian, and an American citizen who believes in democracy and in the constitution, the American people did not put country over party, did not love their neighbor as themselves, and I feel betrayed by both political parties, men, and especially by women including the religious right who mock Christianity (case in point, The Trump Bible – We the People is just one of many examples). And in view of the president-elect’s cabinet nominees, I fear the American people and our allies around the world have witnessed the last democratic election in the United States. The American people will become sicker and less fortunate in mind, body, and spirit over the next four years and beyond. We each will be weighed in the balance for our vote and in some cases those who did not feel it important to vote or abstained because of ballot choices.

I will undoubtedly lose readers and followers for expressing my views, however no matter how difficult it is to forgive, I must forgive but that does not mean I give up the fight for democracy and equal rights for all humans.

It is with all the experiences of 2024 both personally and as an American in 2024 that I have chosen my next three words to live by 2025.

Discipline

The founding fathers of the United States were wise people. They studied philosophy intensively and greatly deliberated everything they put into the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. We have enjoyed an unprecedented degree of abundance, opportunity, cultural enrichment, and safety because of the wisdom they showed in guaranteeing the citizens of the United States with the freedom of speech.

The founding fathers of the United States understood that a healthy, evolving society that maximizes human (notice the word, human) happiness requires permitting each of us to say words other people don’t like to hear, to challenge popular thinking and to even publicly criticize the government (even though the president-elect thinks himself a king), all without fear of punishment. They understood that humans (there is that word again) are intelligent beings capable of entertaining opposing ideas and beliefs, yet still be on the same side.

Freedom of speech is mandated by the Golden Rule – For those of you who don’t know or have selectively forgotten the Golden Rule – it is the moral principle that encourages people to treat others as they would want to be treated. Note: Freedom of speech does not protect speech that can cause objective harm to people’s bodies or property or deny them liberty. Freedom of speech protects speech that can hurt people’s feelings.

So, I choose the word discipline – to speak and write freely on a government that cannot do anything it pleases and allows only what it wants to be reported. I will speak and write freely in a society that wishes to indoctrinate us, including our children, on an official set of beliefs contrary to democracy and would punish us for challenging them. I will speak and write freely on the equal rights and protection of all humans (are you getting my point on the word humans?).

In 2025, I will fearlessly write and speak with discipline and be weighed each day in the balance for it.

Humility

Humility means thinking of myself less and thinking of God and others more. The difference between pride and humility is that pride accepts credit for things that God and other people have done through and for me.

Humility does not mean being a doormat or a sucker but having a sense of emotional autonomy and freedom from the control of the competitive reflex. I have chosen the word humility for this competitive meaning. I accept the past because it cannot be undone or unsaid. I also accept the present for anything I am trying to control is teaching me to let go.

Humility for me in 2025 will mean accepting and valuing the welfare of all people even those whom I may disagree but not at the expense of someone else’s welfare. Humility is also about forgiveness, expressing gratitude, and forging cooperation.

Resilience

“At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.” Frida Kahlo

All my experiences to date have made me who I am.

All those experiences have given me all I need to persevere.

“Be kind to all the past versions of you. They are the soil in which you now bloom.” Arielle Estoria

I began The Blogging Owl in 2007. It has evolved as I have evolved into the person I am today and wish to be as well as the purpose I am meant to pursue. We are all unfinished stories to one day reside on the shelf of that grand library to which we will be weighed in the balance. Until then, we only have today.

If 2024 taught me anything, it has shown me that I am resilient and it is that resilience that I will carry into 2025 to help me to bloom in mind, body, and spirit. With God’s help and the help of others, I will be able to accomplish more personally and professionally than I ever thought possible, so I write freely onward.

Peace,

Bound, for good

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It has been almost 48 hours since the announcement of a new president for the United States, or should I say, an “old” president. Take that how you like, but for many the old regime is frightening. For others, the old regime is what will make America great again. Irrespective of the outcome of this election or any election, for that matter is that nothing in an election will change or obligate you. What is still expected of each of us is that we be a person of virtue… even if the elected are far from virtuous.

The stoic, Marcus Aurelius stated in Meditations, “I am bound for the good.”

As a parent, a wife, a citizen, as a writer, as a human being that strives to be good and faithful to the greater good for humanity of this world, I am bound to be good and wise, and to be against what is evil.

Stop the scroll.

My words of wisdom right now are to step away from all forms of social media. Social media began over a decade ago to connect us near and far. It was thought to be a good thing, and there for a while it was a good thing. Now, social media is a one-sided town square where imposters, posers, bots, and bullies are prevalent and allowed to get away with their anonymity. Social media has trained us to compare the happiness in our lives, making us more partisan than patriotic. It has amped the anxiety levels of everyone. The antidote to anxiety is not calm but safety.

Stop the binging.

I also recommend stopping the binging of 24/7 news coverage. The over-analysis of “experts” and opinion pieces only keep us procrastinating in doing the hard and challenging work of change. I am speaking of the change within ourselves and what we can control. My mantra is that anything that causes me to want to control my environment or in others is teaching me to let go. Learning to achieve and maintain perspective can help us to cope with the challenges ahead individually and as a nation. Perspective gets lost in the tireless binging of cable news and political pundits.

Courage is the most vital virtue in mind, body, and spirit

“Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.” Brene’ Brown, Clinical Social Worker, Professor, Writer

At the end of the day, we each will be weighed in the balance whether we choose to fight or take flight for the good of humanity. I hope you take time away from technology to put on your own oxygen mask. Take a deep breath and reflect on change and most of all, the courage to be bound for good.

Peace,

The keys to building on today

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Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties and adapt to changing circumstances. The critical trait for maintaining mental health and overall wellbeing is being resilient to life’s challenges and setbacks. How do we cultivate resilience to meet adversity head-on and with it see adversity as an opportunity to become self-aware and grow in mind, body, and spirit?

I can tell you from a personal perspective that positivity alone cannot solve all problems, especially physical health, but it can reframe one’s outlook.

Since my leukemia diagnosis almost four years ago and recovering from a life-altering cancer surgery five months ago, the one thing I hated the most was friends and family emphatically stating, “You have to stay positive!” That statement to me personally was dismissive as though positivity was easy as wrapping yourself up in your favorite crocheted afghan. I know they meant well but read on…

positivity and becoming resilient.

The keys to positivity and becoming resilient is a result of constructive thinking. In order to develop constructive thinking, there were things that I needed to do.

I first created boundaries with people who brought out the negativity in me. Some of these people were even well-meaning but lacked the ability to support or communicate with me in ways that were helpful. In time, I learned about my own self-awareness that I believe taught me a thing or two about patience. Patience with myself, patience for others, and patience in the process with which I was facing.

Secondly, I persevered in my daily ritual of meditation and journaling. This ritual sets the tone for my day. There were certainly days during the height of my physical health crisis that my mental and spiritual self could not bear it. Not even to read or write. Yet, I never gave up trying and often I would simply copy into my journal inspirational writings that I could refer back to when I eventually found my voice and I was able to focus.

Thirdly, knowledge is power. Whether it was career related or my physical health, I dove in headfirst to understand what I was facing, what barriers existed, and how I could overcome the hardship and make the most of every day. However, some people who have been given a medical diagnosis do not wish to know every detail of their diagnosis, treatment, and potential outcomes. I know it is easy to fixate on the diagnosis or the challenge at hand. Been there. Done that. But ruminating on difficulties breeds negativity. During those times that I did sink into negativity, I would think if I do only have today, do I really want to feel even more shitty than I do already? It takes time, perseverance and especially creativity to overcome any challenge to spark innovative thinking while keeping a positive outlook with a medical diagnosis, financial crisis, a collapsed career or whatever.

Science says optimism transforms us.

The steps I took to constructive thinking may seem overly optimistic for profound life challenges like a medical diagnosis. A medical diagnosis does not always end with remission or a cure, but knowledge through constructive thinking does unlock potential, creativity, positivity, resilience, and other benefits. Fostering constructive thinking for yourself leads to imagining what is possible and what could be achieved. It takes dedication to overcoming inner narratives that have accumulated over a lifetime and not just with the current adversity. Small shifts like daily meditation, setting boundaries, visualizing success through positive reflections make today worth living because each of us has only today.

It takes time to get over feeling shitty. Trust me it does but trust me when I say it can get better, but you have to start today to constructively think how you can become resilient and positive about your current situation. The keys to making today better rather than shittier is in your control believe it or not. What actions do you need to take to first face your current adversity? Start there.

Side note:

My three words to live by in 2024 – vulnerability, worthy, and forgiveness have helped me to develop the constructive thinking I needed to recover fully from my surgery and to continue to manage leukemia. Constructive thinking with these three words in mind has led to me a fresh purpose to establishing a personal coaching and mentoring business, Seeing Beyond Loss. After retirement from the corporate world due to my illnesses and now that I am gaining my health back, I have decided to pursue what I have long dreamed of doing and that is helping others to see beyond their losses whether it is health, loved ones, job, transitioning to new careers or another life event like retirement. Please check out www.seeingbeyondloss.com.

Peace,

Brave, a friendship bracelet

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(Last post of a continuation of a 3-post series, Vulnerability, a difficult step and Worthy, an external identity

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.” Brene’ Brown, Ph.D., MSW, Author of Daring Greatly.

In my post of November 3, 2023, 2024, Words to live by, my third word is forgiveness. I wrote, “We tell our individual stories every day. Great storytelling builds better relationships. I believe the business of forgiveness is woven in each great story that builds these better relationships. Our experiences require it. Yet those who begrudge the business of forgiveness, these are steps to facilitate forgiveness. Face the pain. Put oneself in the shoes of another to build empathy skills.”

An unexamined life experience is worthless.

In sharing my experience with others through this series of three blog posts after my life-altering Whipple surgery is showing how allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is difficult. Vulnerability is the fear of intimacy. It took a major surgery for me to confront my vulnerability not just physically but in mind and spirit too.

In sharing my vulnerability story, it helped me (and I hope you too) break through a barrier to seeing ourselves as worthy. Each of us has experiences in life that could motivate others by sharing their own experiences of vulnerability and worthiness. It all started for me with a friendship bracelet with the word, brave.

The truth of that friendship bracelet also helped me in my state of vulnerability to face unforgiveness in my life. Resentment can stay buried so long in our place of hurt that we can actually forget that it is there. No matter how we cope with it, this anger never disappears. It can stay hidden for years, causing destruction beneath the surface. Resentment may not entirely cause ill health in body; but it does not help our body if our mind and spirit are harboring unforgiveness.

Could I be brave to confront the unforgiveness in my life?

Could I be brave to confront the unforgiveness in myself?

Unforgiveness was another barrier that I needed to break through in order to build a stronger body, a stronger mind, and certainly, a stronger spirit. Each time I looked down at that friendship bracelet with the word brave, it inspired me to brave the recovery process of my surgery and all the emotions I experienced with being the most vulnerable I have ever been. The friendship bracelet will always remind me of my worth and to brave the business of forgiveness to see myself and others in a new light.

My future holds both uncertainty and purpose.

The word brave will be my reminder that I am doing the best I can at any given moment living a wholehearted life. Wholehearted living as Brene’ Brown reminds us of is about engaging our lives from a place of worthiness. I will add that it is also engages from a place of forgiveness.

I am getting closer to discerning a fresh purpose beyond my full recovery from surgery. I do not know if my purpose is to engage here at The Blogging Owl or another platform.

Either way, God has me and my recent surgery has been an awakening in mind, body, and spirit to be weighed daily in the balance.

Peace,

Worthy, an external identity

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(continued from my last post- Vulnerability, a difficult step).

As spring began to brighten the landscape with the unfurling of leaves and petals, I had ventured out to the backyard to ready it for the coming of summer. Hoping the fresh air and an encouraging sun would help build my resilience, renew a sense of confidence, and speed up my recovery from surgery.

Bending over to pick up fallen sticks and pluck weeds from the landscaping was physically dizzying. It was not easy as the bright purple vertical surgical scar that runs the length of my abdomen was still mending nerves and muscles. The last drain tube had been removed but still seeped and was sore.

After turning around from tugging a vine from a burning bush, I tripped and fell catching myself on my elbows and forearms. Shaking and scared, I tried to get up from the damp ground. I did not have any core strength whatsoever. Remembering my iPhone in my pocket, I called my husband to come outside to help me up from the ground.

Fear. What if I had been home alone?

Later I would recount the story to my aging mother. She giggled. It was the same response I would hear from her over the years whenever I was unable to do anything without assistance. The independent little shit got hurt, I imagined her thinking… if not in body, but in mind and spirit.

Worthy, another word I had chosen to live by in 2024, confirmed what I had written in that post, 2024 – Words to live by. “We pursue external identity markers that we think are important in order for us to be worthy. When we start with a sense of well-being and inherent self-worth, then the doing, achieving, and acquiring emerges from our authentic core, not from a sense of lack in any way.”

Yes, my abdomen core definitely needed strengthening but surgery had also exposed an underdeveloped or even an absent authentic core. I could not be sure which as I believed my internal hard drive had been wiped clean.

Recovery from surgery was slow. A good day would be followed by days of appetite, gastrointestinal, or drains site issues that left me fatigued, fearful, and depressed. My husband would constantly remind me that I had a painful major surgery just weeks ago. Life was moving too fast and yet not fast enough. Misery was ever present.

If I were going to recover from this surgery I would need to master a new shape in mind, body, and spirit. “But what is my purpose now?” I would whine to my therapist.

It was not enough to just to be retired. My friend, Mary, who had just retired has finally found the rhythm to her day by volunteering at her church. Mary and I have been close friends since 1980. We share similar values and interests. A former HR Director, she enjoys doing tasks, serving and problem solving for others. My external identity is marked by mentoring through storytelling.

Had my storytelling been effective?

Were the stories worthy?

Was I worthy?

For the Lenten season, I had given up social media. It also aligned perfectly with the timing of my Whipple surgery and the beginning of my recovery. I deleted much of my social media presence and reconsidered my online presence even this very blog and the other blogs I maintain.

God’s hand was in that timing as He has always been. I have been able to discern His involvement more easily in my life over the the last several years. These divine connections come in many forms from unexpected and surprising sources – a photograph, a book recommendation, a tree on a nature trail, tripping over a vine, a friendship bracelet to name a few.

There it was again, a friendship bracelet with the word – brave.

To be continued…

Peace,

Vulnerability, a difficult step

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My mother would tell me that I frustrated her as a young mother. She would recount that I did not want her to rock me when it was time for me to take a nap or go to sleep in the evening. I wanted to rock myself. At the end of each retelling of this story she would say, “You were an independent little shit.” My mother told this story every time I frustrated her which was often. However, this streak of independence would help me survive through every hardship, disappointment, and bout of depression. The downside to independence is often the inability to accept vulnerability – allowing any weaknesses to be seen or known – within oneself and sometimes in others.

Vulnerability was one of the three words I had chosen to live by in 2024. In my post of November 2, 2023, I stated, “The foundation for open communication consists of honesty, trust, and vulnerability. We may be honest and even trusting to a degree, but fully allowing ourselves to be truly vulnerable is often the most difficult step to open communications.”

I had no idea in November 2023 when I selected my three words to live by for 2024 how January would greet me.

Whipple procedure / pancreaticoduodenectomy – February 29, 2024

When I awoke in the early morning hours after a 10-plus how surgery, I felt as though my entire being’s hard drive had been wiped clean. I was not who I was before the surgery in mind, body, and spirit. My memories, short and long term were stilted.

I looked down to see what had been done to me – an incision from my sternum with a slight jog around the left of my naval down almost to the pubic bone. 50 silver staples (I would count them later). Four tubes protruded from the right-side of my body draining fluid from inside my abdomen to three rubber bulbs and one bag.

Reality had set in.

Afraid, I thought, “what have I done?“

First and second opinions confirmed the Whipple procedure to be the only solution to removing a precancerous bile duct adenoma from advancing into the pancreas which could potentially become cancerous. Each doctor from my oncologist, personal care physician, endocrinologist, cardiologist, and surgeon would say the same thing to me – “this is a life altering procedure.” I could wait for surgery since the adenoma was in the precancerous stage and instead continue to have bile duct stents inserted and replaced every 3-4 months. This second option was only prolonging the eventuality of a Whipple surgery.

The second consideration was that I was not in remission from leukemia. Surgery now would mean the possibility of the leukemia advancing as chemotherapy treatment would need to be suspended. I had to weigh the two cancers, or at least, trading one for the other. It was not an easy decision.

I listened to my medical teams, performed my own research, and peppered those who had also gone through this procedure personally or as a caregiver, I never anticipated the degree of not only the physical pain but the pain in mind and spirit too.

I opted to move forward with the Whipple procedure considering my age, healthcare insurance, my family, and a support network of friends and extended family. I surmised that I would have a better chance of survival and recovery of this life altering surgery now rather than later.

In between snippets of consciousness during those first days of morphine pumps, Oxy hallucinations, and the anesthesia slowly escaping my body, I believed death had been near or was still near. My surgeon discussed the risk of death during my pre-operative appointment. It was certainly a possibility due to my personal medical history. The thought of leaving my sons behind weighed heavy on my mind and spirit.

After surgery I had two unanticipated procedures that allowed me to finally be released from the hospital after two weeks. My medical team and healthcare providers were excellent, but what I had experienced in mind, body, and spirit was far worse than I could ever have imagined.

Upon arrival at home, I had amassed a pile of get well cards and presents. One present from a dear friend was a friendship bracelet with the word brave. I did not feel brave, nor did I think that I was brave. Yet, I wore it everyday.

I was afraid of everything for fear of literally and figuratively spilling my guts out or the drains being ripped out of my body. Fatigue, loss of appetite, managing personal hygiene consumed my days those first weeks after surgery. I could not focus. I could not pray or meditate. I did not journal. I did not have any motivation. I wondered if this is how people returning from their military service feel. The war is over but the battles are still being waged.

fear.

Fear of everything.

Fear of being vulnerable.

If I could only inspire myself, I thought. I began by reading my poems on my website, TheOwlPoet.com. Scrolling through the poems, I landed on a poem I did not remember writing but there it was posted on September 18, 2024, eleven days before surgery. I wept uncontrollably. Was God preparing me for something?

I was still reeling about what I experienced those first days after surgery. Had I been close to death? I tried pulling from the cloud of what and who I was before surgery. Nothing. I felt lost. Besides organs what else did this surgery take from me? I quizzed my husband about what the surgeon told him while I was in my 2-hour recovery. Had there been complications? None, he assured me.

I scoured the bowl of depression. Some days I rose to the top while many others I was stuck on the sides and the bottom. I planted boundaries. I knew my friends and family deserved to hear from me. They needed to be thanked for all their prayers, well wishes, and gifts; but I just could not talk about what I had experienced or what I was experiencing now. Vulnerability even with my therapist was a struggle. I could not even communicate my thoughts and feelings in my journal. I could not discern anything from God, nor could I pray which was the scariest feeling. I had believed God had me either way. Was that still true?

I looked down at my wrist. There was that word, brave.

To be continued…

Peace,

Disengaging, for love

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My day today represents:

Valentine’s Day
Thirty-first wedding anniversary
Ash Wednesday

Love is in each of these occasions. It is love that inspires the next question:

How do we cultivate a significant non-work identity and a daily practice to disengage with that which wastes our day and to regulate our emotions for a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning in life?

I try to make it a daily practice to meditate, pray, and journal. Living involves pain. As Ernest Hemingway stated, “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” This daily practice is how I allow the light to come in. If I give up when life is not going well in mind, body, or spirit, I never learn to trust God. I cannot love anyone or life fully. I used the word “try” because lately I have allowed other activities to waste my day and modulate my emotions to being out of control. I have become too comfortable in activities and overthinking kills happiness. Period.

“Comfort is the worst addiction.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic philosopher

I have become too comfortable with my addictions. One of those addictions is scrolling social media reading both the posts and the comments on those posts. Social media is an escape into conversations, nonsense, and too much information all which is long on anger, dishonesty, and stupidity rather than newsworthy, genuine entertainment, and persuasiveness. The escape that bounces quickly from one social media post or app results in unwittingly hours of wasted time and brain cells.

“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic philosopher

Beginning today through March 31, 2024, I am taking a sabbatical from all social media. I am ignoring the apps totally for the Lenten season through Easter. I am doing this for several reasons.

Ditching social media to concentrate on my physical health.

I have been consumed by overthinking of a pending life-altering surgery with an anticipated difficult and long recovery. I am not done with this life and this experience has made me realize how I spend my days. Isn’t that the way it goes for many people? As we face a health diagnosis like cancer or in my situation, a cancer and now potentially a second one, I wonder why it takes this situation to face our non-work identity to figure out how to master a meaningful life?

Ditching social media to re-establish the daily practice of disenging for a calm mind.

My daily practice of journaling has taken a haphazard backseat to overthinking, scrolling media, indulging in streaming services. None of these wasteful activities has brought me closer to a meaningful life. I have been replacing a calm mind with the busyness of pushing what is painful or praiseworthy with the comfort of pajamas and electronics. Why do we fall into these traps when we just want relief from our daily life? Why do we prefer blurry eyes to closing them to meditate or pray? It is easier to pick up our phones than a pen. It is easier to step into slippers than walking shoes.

Ditching social media to build up my spirit for an active life.

At the end of these next 40-plus days of not accessing social media, I will still be physically recovering from surgery, however, that doesn’t mean an inactive life. While I am ditching social media, I will be trying to ditch the overthinking and streaming comforts. What does the spirit mean? What is it? How do we access the spirit within us? These questions often arise in our work identity pain, but what about our non-work identity?

Love

I will end this post with love.

“The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet, and American Essayist

This Emerson quote has resonated with me over the years. Ditching social media will hopefully help me in some measure to finding the answers over the next 40 plus days in mind, body, and spirit to love fully and gain a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning.

In closing, Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone whether you celebrate the day or not – celebrate you. Love to those who celebrate the Lenten season and Easter. Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, Vinny Sal.

Peace,

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY POETRY BLOG, THEOWLPOET.COM AT HTTPS://THEOWLPOET.COM/

Marinating, in the words

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In my blog post on 12/28/2023, Discipline, a gift to myself, I pondered the yin and yang between motivation and discipline. As the new year has already seen one month slip into the next, I find being alone at the forefront of discipline has left me exposed and vulnerable.

Jack Rabinow, the prolific inventor who invented machines that could recognize text, “Inventors have a low threshold of pain. Things bother them.” The same can be said of the creative whose openness and sensitivity exposes them to great pain and suffering especially when they feel their creativity is drying out. Deep interest and involvement in obscure subjects often go unrewarded, or even brings ridicule causing the creative to possibly feel isolated and misunderstood.

How do we proactively seek out, cultivate, and immerse oneself in enjoyable activities that hold personal significance and resonate with personal passions and interests?

Perhaps the most important quality, the one that is most consistently present in all creative individuals, is the ability to enjoy the process of creation for its own sake. I have recently given up the notion of writing a book or assembling a collection of poetry for book-form publication. Just like the materialism that I spoke of in my last post, January, the new Lent, abandoning the burden of my dream of being a published author because insatiable perfectionism that left me frozen in a hardened state of writing for its own sake.

The artist Eva Zeisel, who produces ceramics that were recognized by the Museum of Modern Art as masterpieces of contemporary design stated, “This idea to create something is not my aim. To be different is a negative motive, and no creative thought or created thing grows out of a negative impulse. A negative impulse is always frustrating. And to be different means ‘not like this’ and ‘not like that.’ And the ‘not like’—that’s why postmodernism, with the prefix of ‘post,’ couldn’t work. No negative impulse can work, can produce any happy creation. Only a positive one.”

Striking the impulsive balance

What truly matters to me in life? It is a question most of us ask ourselves at one time or another considering that we live in a world brimming with choices and distractions. As I navigate my own life’s complexities, identifying and embracing my core values, my passions and interests can leave little room for self-reflection.

Positive impulsivity is the practice of mindfulness – living in the moment and observing what is happening around you. I practice it through daily journaling, walking through nature. I recognize my impulsive thoughts for what they are: a thought, nothing more and nothing less. A thought in and of itself is not harmful; it is the action that follows that can be problematic. My meditative practices have taught me to stop, breathe, and live for today. They have opened up a whole new way of balancing the positive and negative impulses that Eva Zeisel speaks of.

Solitude and creativity

The genealogy of my childhood sparked a search for self-expression. I found solace in writing. Research shows a correlation between solitude and creativity. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that social withdrawal can lead to increased creativity. Not everyone is lonely but people who tend to be alone are more innovative and produce unique ideas.

People who know me personally may believe me to be extroverted while others may find me to be the opposite. I would call myself an ambivert. One who is an intermediate between extrovert and introvert. Although I would more likely call myself an observer who determines whether to be an extrovert or introvert determinant on the situation. Given my childhood that would be called survivorship. Writing was a my outlet.

Daily appointments

I began keeping a daily appointment with myself by spending time in my office every morning to create for creativity’s sake. The word appointment in and of itself indicates work. I could use the phrase daily alarm-setting but that sounds worse. So, I researched the synonyms for the word appointment. The strongest matches from Theasauras.com were assignation, engagement, errand, gig, meet, rendezvous, session, and tryst. These synonyms sound either stuffy, risqué, or benign. Pick whichever word fits you, but I think I will stick with appointment.

This daily creative appointment may consist of writing just a few words often marinating until the next day or even longer. While those words are marinating others were ready to be born usually in unexpected moments and meanings. I no longer worry if the impulsive desire to write is a blessing or curse – the idea to create is not the aim but to immerse myself into whatever I am feeling that day through my personal passion and interest in writing.

I have also revisited my favorite authors, Emerson, Mary Oliver, Hemingway, the ancient stoics, and so many others. Seeking out the words, meditations, and meanings of great authors has wetted new motivations for my own personal significance, creativity, and purpose.

Emerson wrote, “Don’t waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”

Whether you see yourself as creative or not, Emerson’s words still ring true in whatever your personal passions and interests. Make a daily appointment in mindfulness and give into the positive impulse to produce whatever makes you happy.

If my personal passions exposes my vulnerability and causes me to be alone in my interests, then so be it. I am allowing the words of Emerson to marinate today because today is all I have.

Peace,

Please check out my poetry blog, TheOwlPoet.com at https://theowlpoet.com/

January, the new Lent

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In my last post, Discipline, a gift to myself, I stated that forgiveness comes first when it comes to discipline. I have learned this lesson the hard way: If we are unable to forgive ourselves and others, the weight of unforgiveness keeps us from finding harmony in mind, body, and spirit to exercise our genuine potential.

How do we find the way to forgive?

We come to it in our own time when we realize that unforgiveness (not forgetfulness) hurts us more than we realize. It is an event or a series of events in life that brings us to the continuing act of forgiveness… a diagnosis, a death, a divorce, employment separation, to name a few.

Forgiveness is easier said than done, you say. I totally agree with you. Forgiveness is ongoing despite what others may say. It is not a one and done exercise.

After all, we are human.

Yet forgiveness allows us to concentrate on what we have today and the beginning of letting go of all that prevents us from living as a purposeful human being.

A worthy response

The first question in my post on December 21, 2023, Today, weighing the balance was:

“It is not the trials and personal hardships that develop with their intent to destroy us but how we respond to those intense and sometimes painful difficulties that overwhelm us. How do we connect in mind, body, and spirit to live more intentionally today?”

Forgiveness is the spiritual response to connecting to intentional living. The letting go of what weighs us down rather than what weighs us in the balance to living a purposeful life. If this is true, then what weighs down the mind?

“Materialism is an identity crisis.” Bryant H. McGill, American Author

During my own series of personal events beginning 3 years ago was the downsizing and selling of our primary home and at the same time selling our vacation home to move to where we wanted to retire. The real estate market seemed to be at its peak so we decided to make the most of the current market. My husband and I were working remotely. Our employment was not so much a factor as much as we were moving away from our sons, family, and friends.

While it was a bit scary to move on many levels, the timing of selling and moving could not have been better. The decision paid off handsomely although I would never recommend downsizing 27 years of stuff, selling 2 homes, buying another home across state much less during a pandemic. The process however of downsizing, discarding, and donating was cathartic.

The burden of all that ‘stuff’

Per “U.S. Self-Storage Industry Statistics” by Al Harris, January 27, 2023, from SquareFoot.com, we store 6.1 square feet of stuff per person with 11.1% of households that rent storage stuff as the SquareFoot.com graphic below depicts:

Anyone can see as they travel any expressway or now through suburban and rural areas the number of storage facilities that are springing up over the landscape. The last couple of decades has shown us our inability to let go of our stuff. The article states that the occupancy rate is declining, however, now that the pandemic has ended. The pandemic created a surge in demand. I would assume it was due to the necessity for making room for all those remote office and school desks. Could it be people are now evaluating the necessity for all of this stuff?

We never rented storage outside our homes until we had to move and wait for our new home to be remodeled. Since moving almost 3 years ago, I have never thought, “Gee, I wish I would have kept…” because I do not remember what it was that I donated or trashed. There was just so much of it! In fact, there are still boxes in our current downstairs storage area that I have yet to open.

January is giving up all that ‘stuff’

In the Christian faith, the Lenten season is a time when many Christians give up something in preparation to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter. It is an act of self-control to follow Christ more faithfully. The Lenten season starts this year on Ash Wednesday, February 14, 2024. I am not waiting until the official Lenten season to begin. I am beginning in January.

All worthy endeavors

I am not only purging the material stuff that I have not looked at since we moved almost 3 years ago, but I am also letting go of outdated ideas and aspirations that keep me from intentionally living today in mind, body, and spirit. For example, if a book that I purchased is not engaging me, I will quit reading it. I would will myself into continuing to read books I had purchased in sympathy for the authors who may have willed themselves to write their book. Unread books will be posted on my online bookstore for someone else to purchase or donate it to a worthy cause.

I am also letting myself off the hook of authoring my own book. The continuous re-writing book drafts was exhausting because I would give in to my perfectionist and attention-deficit tendencies. My writing journals and poetry collections will be my legacy to my sons. They can decide to do with them whatever they please even if it is to burn them. This does not mean I find my writing unworthy. It means I am simply enjoying the art of writing.

Whatever weighs us down in our mind and in our spirit undoubtedly weighs on our body. The stress of unforgiveness, the stress of maintaining a materialistic life,… the burden of stress itself creates a diseased body. A worthy response to all the trials and personal hardships is within our control – giving up all that stuff to faithfully live an intentional life of purpose and joy.

Peace and love in the New Year!

Discipline, a gift to myself

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It is said that motivation draws one to what they desire, and discipline drags one to it. I ponder the yin and yang between motivation and discipline – positivity versus negativity. Which one produces the best sustained results?

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic Philosopher

As I endeavor to answer the questions I asked in my last post, I am gifting myself this new year – discipline.

“Discipline is more reliable than motivation. One is consistent the other is fleeting.” – Shane Parrish, entrepreneur, New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and investor.

Weighing Discipline

“Whoever practices discipline is on the way to life, but whoever ignores a warning strays.” – Proverbs 10:17 (GW)

Forgiveness must come first. It is an action, not a feeling. Forgiveness is a conscious decision that takes a disciplined effort, otherwise, forgiveness becomes a weapon. The sting of unforgiveness cauterizes not just the soul but also the mind that causes the body to become chronically ill.

How are we able to forgive?

Forgiveness is not choosing to remember. Betrayals made silent are resurrected in revenge because there is always the residual pain that ignites the anger that was once crammed or tucked neatly away in our memory. True forgiveness does not remain silent but seeks active healing of a grieved heart.

Forgiveness is an essential part of life.

Imperfect people populate our imperfect world. No one escapes failure and at one time or another we fail to live up to the expectations of others as others fail to live up to our own. Once we learn there is no perfect relationship, forgiveness bridges the barrier of betrayal and allows us to strengthen our relationships. Forgiveness takes discipline and the strength of character to lay down the weaponry of revenge and take-up the cross of forgiveness – because at some point we too will need someone’s forgiveness.

I will start each day with the strength of character I can muster to disengage myself from the activity of unforgiveness which wastes my time to live intentionally and end my day with the discipline of forgiveness. Tough love, sweet dreams.

Peace,

Today, weighing in the balance

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2024 comes with a new theme for the New Year – Weighing Today in the Balance.

The Blogging Owl will be posting on how to make conscious choices to experience a more purposeful, balanced and rewarding life each day.

Weighing today in the balance is carefully assessing the merits of how we spend our day.

It is not the trials and personal hardships that develop with their intent to destroy us but how we respond to those intense and sometimes painful difficulties that overwhelm us. How do we connect in mind, body, and spirit to live more intentionally today?
How do we deliberately shift our mindset to perceive and derive meaning from various aspects of work and life?
How do we cultivate a significant non-work identity and a daily practice to disengage with that which wastes our day and to regulate our emotions for a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning in life?
How do we prioritize time with loved ones or with oneself, engaging in meaningful pursuits that promote supportive, positive, and social connections in a relaxing and creative environment?
How do we set clear boundaries to invest in personally rewarding and meaningful experiences?
How do we proactively seek out, cultivate, and immerse oneself in enjoyable activities that hold personal significance and resonate with personal passions and interests?
How do we rejuvenate and inspire goal pursuits in other areas of life that instill a sense of accomplishment and confidence?
How do we develop and engage in challenging projects and capitalize on one’s strengths to minimize setbacks and maximize increased self-awareness and a sense of capability for today?
How do we restructure our daily tasks or life elements in ways that resonate deeply with our inner drives and aspirations, finding meaning within activities for a more purpose-driven and rewarding life today?
How do we create healthy time boundaries between essential and non-essential tasks to invest our energy where it matters most?
How do we involve making conscious choices that lead to a more purposeful, balanced and rewarding life?
How do we start with introspection which prompts us to confront limiting beliefs and explore alternative, more empowering perspectives?
How do we alter our day to better support our needs and align our core values to create a better life that is truly meaningful?
How do we practice empathy toward others and toward ourselves?
How do we own up to our own mistakes?
How can we genuinely be happy for others?
How do we become active listeners?
How do we help others without expecting anything in return?
How do we show respect to everyone?
How are we able to forgive?
How can we be honest with tact?
How do we strive to be better today?
How do we express the essence of goodness today?
How do we embrace our values with direction and purpose?
How do we embrace our values with renewed passion?
How do we embrace our values with self-improvement?
How do we embrace our values to connect with others on a more authentic and profound level?

My chosen words to live in (see my post on November 2, 2023) are vulnerability, worthy, and forgiveness. As I stated in that post, the lesson to carry forward in 2024 is to retain the lessons of the past year and release all else. In mind, body, and spirit whether in good health or sick , we only have today. We are doing our best at any given moment on any given day. In 2024, I am going to do my best to make every moment be weighed in the balance of goodness, kindness, self-control, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, and love – the eight spiritual wells for quiet thriving.

Peace and Love in the New Year!

A Christmas Letter, gratitude

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It is that time of year when Christmas holiday cards and letters arrive. I enjoy receiving the photos and the letters updating me on the past year’s experiences and milestones of my family and friends.

Per Hallmark, the greeting card company, approximately 1.6 billion cards will be mailed or given by Americans this holiday season. The average household receives twenty holiday cards during the Christmas holiday season. It is difficult to imagine that volume of holiday wishes, tidings of joy, and positivity, especially in today’s world. But today’s world really is not any different than the worlds gone by.

This year card-giving etiquette is expanding to online cards and greetings. I am not certain how I feel about electronic wishes, but here is my Christmas holiday letter to family, friends, and followers.

A Christmas Letter, gratitude

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Gratitude is the foundation for overall well-being in mind, body, and spirit. I want to share with you my gratitude for this past year.

On February 14th, my husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Marriage is not easy even for soulmates. In our case we were two broken pieces made whole by the other. Cracks, no matter how well pieces are cemented they are still fragile. I am grateful for 30 years of love and devotion which included the gifts of two beautiful sons. I am grateful for a husband who takes exceptional care of our family.

In March, our first son turned twenty-seven years old. I am grateful for my oldest son’s compassion and how he sees the world through his art as a photographer. He has followed his passion as product photographer, photo editor and e-commerce specialist for a national eyewear company. His personal photography has begun to find its place in galleries and purchased by private clients. His work as an artist has shown me a new perspective of the world.

In April, our youngest son celebrated 25 years of age. His intelligence and inquisitive mind have kept me apprised of current world events, special causes, Formula-1 racing, and in his work as a commercial specialty insurance underwriter for a national insurance carrier. He is continuing his master’s education and licensing. I am grateful for his dedication to his nonprofit passions to make this a better world and to his career.

I am grateful for my sister, my brother, and their extended family for helping with the care of my 85-year-old mother. They have taken upon the bulk of her care because I am unable to due physical distance and my own health challenges.

My two editors, senior dogs, Penny, and Barkley passed away in June and November. I am grateful for their unconditional love over the past 11 years. They taught me so many lessons of love, joy, and the pleasure of play.

In honoring their loss, I have created Penny’s Pet Bereavement Services as a certified bereavement specialist in the area of pet loss. Who knew such a thing existed, but I am grateful for those in my pet rescue and pet services pack that guided me to serving others who will or have lost a pet. It has given me a new purpose with clients locally, nationally and in Europe. Our love for pets is unique and so is grieving unique. You can find Penny’s Pet Bereavement Services on Facebook.

I am grateful to my two editors and pups, Carmela, and Johnny, as they are my source of daily joy (and sometimes terrorism). They are my constant companions and walking friends. We live in a wonderful and supportive community here by Lake Michigan with its beautiful beaches and parks. We enjoy exploring our environment.

In October, we welcomed the news of a wedding proposal! Our youngest son and his partner are planning a wedding in October 2024. We are so grateful that our son has found his soulmate. We love the person whom he is marrying. I am grateful that our family is expanding. I promised them that I would be the best mother-in-law ever!

November found me in the operating room for abdominal pain and exploratory reasons. Unfortunately, the news is not a simple cure. I am currently seeking second opinions with my oncology teams. I retired at the end of March because my resistant to leukemia treatment made it difficult to managing the stress of full-time work even remotely. Yet, I am grateful for the resistance to leukemia treatment for had I not been I may not have found the pancreatic pre-cancerous cells invading my bile ducts before it was too late. The course of treatment is still up in the air, but I am so grateful for the intelligence, diligence, and care of my healthcare teams. I am also grateful for good healthcare insurance.

Why am I being so transparent with my health and the gratitude I am feeling for my family and my community?

I want everyone to know there is purpose in all our situations to help others if only we remember one thing. We all have one thing in common whether we are sick or healthy in mind, body, and spirit. We only have today. Live it!

You are more important to me than an annual holiday letter written all about me and my family. The only holiday gift I am asking is that we stay in touch with each other more often throughout the year. Our annual cards and letters next year will only include the gratitude we have for our relationship and the memories we have created together even if it simply by telephone, online, or Zoom.

In closing,

Why is the Christmas holiday season celebrated at the end of the year?

In my opinion, it is because it gives us the time to look back on our year in gratitude and gives us hope for tomorrow and into the new year. Gratitude builds our resiliency to face whatever dire situation befalls us and fosters a sense of well-being especially if we shift our focus to just today. As our world changes be open to the changes in your life and meet them head on with gratitude and purpose.

I am grateful for all of you who read and follow The Blogging Owl. This blog also gives me purpose and I hope you find value in reading it.

Let us all find harmony and balance in mind, body, and spirit to find the potential within us for today.

Peace,

Journaling, a fresh perspective

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There are scores of books, classes, and internet sites devoted to journaling – the how to’s, the different journal formats, the benefits, the prompts to get one started, developing the daily habit, etc. I have written several blog posts and conducted classes on journaling. So, what is new that I can share about creating the daily habit of journaling that will be of value to you?

A fresh perspective on the lasting legacy of journaling.

Journaling, a fresh perspective

The core intention of meditation is to release thoughts and feelings that keep us stuck in our self-absorption. There are some people who can meditate through other means than journaling. They are able to release those self-absorbing thoughts and feelings through the exhale of physical exertion or some other hobby or activity.

Unfortunately, there are people who like me repress thoughts and feelings which we tend to avoid because they are uncomfortable for us. The daily habit for those who can write ourselves through it can get ourselves unstuck and tackle the thoughts and feelings that make us uncomfortable. While many people like me find writing is cathartic, others find their release by sketching, painting, or photography as their journal format. Whatever the medium one may choose to journal, I find journaling the best way to meditate because it is a legacy that can be I can return to show how far I have come from my self-absorption and how comfortable I now am in the middle of a crisis or wholesomely separating myself from a chaotic world.

I know fellow journal writers who have named their journals like an alter ego. The artist, Beyonce’ introduced her alter ego, Sasha Fierce in a double album. Beyonce’ explained that her alter ego, Sasha Fierce was her more timid personality than her confident onstage persona. I also have an alter ego that I also write from occasionally – Jenny Curan, however, my journal is referred to as a prayer journal because I often write personal letters to God, or I expect God to direct the outcome of whatever I am expressing. It is the “pour(ing) (my) heart out like water in the presence of the Lord…” Lamentations 2:19 (GW).

Journaling, the goal setting for healing

Journaling is not always in complete sentences. Often journal entries are fragments, poetry in process, ideas I need to explore for healing in mind, body, and spirit.

I found this post on Facebook (I don’t know who posted it; but if they are reading this, I will update my blog post to give them credit as I had written the following in my prayer journal some time ago):

Healing will make you realize this:

Some people can’t give you what you need
You don’t need closure or an apology to move on
Not everyone will like or accept who you are
Some emotional baggage was never yours carry
You can still love people and keep them at a distance
Seeking love where it isn’t available only hurts you

I would also add my own bullet-points:

Being your true self is more important in mind, body, and spirit than what people see on your ‘sleeve’ (see the third and fourth bullet points above)
Forgiveness is in your control – keep the doors closed while keeping a window open for fresh air – not everyone changes but you can (refer to the fifth bullet point above)
Learning to love all the parts of you rather than in someone else is worth all the mistakes to getting to this point (refer to the second and the sixth bullet-points above)
Allow yourself to lean on those who want to give you all the positive things you need – harmony of mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within you (refer to the first bullet point above)
Love finds you. Period.

I might not have learned all of the truth above had it not been for years of journaling and writing my way through it whether it was the confident me or Jenny. The legacy I will leave behind written on all those journal pages is a person determined to finally have gained harmony in mind, body, and spirit.

**If you are considering a special holiday present for someone or even for yourself, consider the purchase of a journal with quality pens, pastel or lead pencils, watercolor or acrylic paints, camera film or a photo processing subscription.**

Peace, writing my way through it

Happy Thanksgiving

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I am grateful for all who follow The Blogging Owl. May you all have a healthy and happy Thanksgiving in mind, body, and spirit.

The Owl

Peace,

2024 – Words to live by

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“Life is not just about peaks and valleys, about wins and losses. Life is about the journey. You hear that all the time. You’ve got to absorb that. You’ve got to know that. The journey must become the destination because there is no true destination. There is no endpoint. There is no goal. All rivers run to the sea and yet the sea is not full. Life goes on; accept what life gives you. The sun rises the morning after you win the championship or lose in the first round.”

— Paul Assaiante, Run to the Roar

My words to live by in 2023 that I added to my list of words that matter – patience, independence, stories – taught me what I need to do for myself. In these words, to live by for 2023, I referred to patience towards others when patience with myself too is just as important. Independence was to separate myself from all that did not bring value to my life. In some respects, I was successful, however, becoming independent from the internal negative emotions is crucial to spark positive potential within me. I heard and read many other’s stories this year that helped me to understand the importance of my own story. The importance of my own story informs the words I have selected to add to the words that matter list (see above page, Words that Matter) and to live by them in 2024.

Why do I share these words publicly?

Vulnerability is a strength. Showing vulnerability is often difficult. We are not alone in this life. If there is something I find rewarding or challenging in this life that helps me to understand it better perhaps it may help you too. “Life is not just about peaks and valleys, about wins and losses. Life is about the journey. You hear that all the time. You’ve got to absorb that. You’ve got to know that.”

What outcome am I hoping for?

To personally find the spark of potential within myself to bring harmony in mind, body, and spirit, and perhaps you will find yours too. Vulnerability is the journey. It can be scary. Yet it is better than getting to the end of your life and realizing that you didn’t show up or be seen. “The journey must become the destination because there is no true destination. There is no endpoint. There is no goal.”

What emotions am I experiencing?

Others may see themselves in my emotions or in my writing. They may not. Either way perhaps they will understand and take notice as to how they react to these emotions when they see them in others or themselves. “All rivers run to the sea and yet the sea is not full. Life goes on; accept what life gives you.”

What unmet needs am I trying to meet?

Validation. My experiences matter. Your experiences matter. “The sun rises the morning after you win the championship or lose in the first round.”

2024 – Words to live by

The following words will be exploratory themes in 2024.

Vulnerability

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” —Brene’ Brown, PhD, MSW, Professor and Writer

The specific vulnerability definition per Dictionary.com: willingness to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known; willingness to risk being emotionally hurt.

The foundation for open communication consists of honesty, trust, and vulnerability. We may be honest and even trusting to a degree, but fully allowing ourselves to be truly vulnerable is often the most difficult step to open communication. What helps us to take that step to our birthplace?

Worthy

Why does he shun the limelight? He was asked. David Jones, Welsh Poet and Watercolorist replied, “that a degree of isolation is necessary as a poet and painter, …to discover the forms of which I myself are made.”

Per Dictionary.com: of commendable excellence or merit; deserving of one’s time, attention, interest, work, trouble, etc.

We believe we are not enough because our worth needs to be constantly earned. We pursue external identity markers that we think are important in order for us to be worthy. When we start with a sense of well-being and inherent self-worth, then the doing, achieving, and acquiring emerges from our authentic core, not from a sense of lack in any way. What is this sense of well-being mean so we can leverage it? How do we access this inherent self-worth?

Forgiveness

“Those who tell the stories, rule the world.” —American Indian Proverb

Per Dictionary.com: disposition or willingness to forgive.

We tell our individual stories every day. Great storytelling builds better relationships. I believe the business of forgiveness is woven in each great story that builds these better relationships. Our experiences require it. Yet those who begrudge the business of forgiveness, these are steps to facilitate forgiveness. Face the pain. Put oneself in the shoes of another to build empathy skills. And then finally, forgive with all the strength that you must let go to move on. How do we start this process to make it stick? What does it look like to let go and move on?

Vulnerability. Worthy. Forgiveness.

Something we all need to remember is that we are doing our best at any given moment. The lesson to carry into 2024 for me at least is to retain the lessons but release all else. Each of us, whether healthy or sick in mind, body, and spirit only have today. What I do today will be weighed in the balance (Job 31:6). At the end of each day, I visualize releasing a dove with an olive branch into the universe so peace and love may be returned to me.

What words are you considering for the new year?

Peace,

Fatigue, the burden of anger

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Anger is the impulse to pass it onto others. What is this anger? Where does it come from?

Anger is a signal that cannot be escaped from or suppressed. What purpose does anger serve? Does it come from a sense of passion seeking betterment, growth, love, enhancement, fulfillment? Or does it come from a negative purpose that senses some kind of deficiency to rectify a wrong?

Very often anger is the result of beliefs that have led to unreasonable demands on circumstances. Giving up the wrong of what has been done or deficiency and accepting it is not easy. Acceptance is difficult because oftentimes anger has been suppressed in every nook and cranny of the soul. It appears without notice until it is too late. The resulting damage is already being done.

The world will always be indifferent, so anger continues to be carried out. It carries one down into passivity and inertia. The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness turn into depression and self-pity. It is anger’s manipulative strategy that keeps one from pursuing a positive and constructive passion for goodness.

Pick any topic – guns, individual rights and freedoms, religion, culture, race – the burden of anger is fatigue. We are too tired to care anymore. How does one become motivated under this burden of anger to pursue fulfillment despite the unfairness that exists? The world will never be fair.

Anger creates a cycle of rage and defeatism. Ask the rape victim. Ask the sexually and emotionally abused child. Ask a minority. Ask about persecuted culture. Anger is what motivates a depressed person or people to lash out and create war with not only their perpetrators but with innocents as well.

All anger if it is repressed, suppressed, or expressed is seemingly toxic. How does one survive one’s anger or someone else’s anger?

The English poet, William Blake wrote, “The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.”

Psychology says that anger is a normal and adaptive response to an attack or threat. It has been useful in our evolutionary struggle for survival. Yet the chaos in the world, our very communities, suggests that anger is being spun out of control.

If well-directed anger, stemming from clarity of thought can get through to others more effectively than mere platitudes suggests anger then is not always toxic; as expressed earlier, if it fuels a sense of passion for seeking growth and goodness.

Many, including myself, are suffering from the burden of anger. As a culture we once feared anger but scroll through the comments of any social media posts and you will read the toxicity of anger. It seems we have lost the filters of yesterday’s generations. Is that what it means to make America great again? Suppress it, repress it, but just don’t express it because expressing it makes it too easy for victims to have their voice.

I am not suggesting anger is or isn’t necessary. Anger protects our dignity and self-respect. We can also choose or not to be offended. Anger is essential to taking seriously those who have wronged us holding them as adults responsible for their choices and actions. Anger is an essential part of combatting and righting injustice if it is well-directed with clarity of thought and action.

American poet, Maya Angelou wrote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

The burden of anger comes from being tired of thinking about it, facing it, and dealing with it. The acceptance of anger demands we become vulnerable to it. Vulnerability like acceptance is not an easy feeling to experience. Personally, I think it is more difficult than acceptance. Yet there cannot be acceptance without becoming vulnerable to the reasons for our anger. The last step is forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean we forget why we have carried this burden of anger; it simply means we can take the burden off our shoulders. Being free from the burden of anger motivates us to scour it from our soul. We can reset our anger to being adaptive as nature intended, setting boundaries as necessary, and fueling a purpose for good.

My fatigue is evident. This post is a stream of consciousness as I consider this burden of anger in mind, body, and spirit. I pray for humanity around the world to find peace.

Peace,

P.S.
As I have done every year since 2017, I have been considering my words to live by for the new year, 2024. I will be posting my new words to add to my list of words in the coming weeks. In the meantime, go to the top of this page and over to, A Matter of Words and click on each year’s three words to read the post for that year’s words.

BOOK REVIEW: MAYBE

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I loved reading with my two sons when they were growing up. All of their children’s books are now saved in plastic totes for when future grandchildren may be able to enjoy them. My sons are now in their mid-twenties and sometimes when they visit us, they open one of the plastic totes to read one of their cherished children’s books again. My sons will comment on the fond memories reading these books with mom and dad.

It is with great care that I continue to select and stow away new children’s books for my sons and my future grandchildren to discover. My latest purchase is a children’s book with a timeless message not only for children but adults too. It is a story about endless potential in all of us.

Book Review: maybe, written by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Gabriella Barouch

From inside the front book jacket:

“You are the only you there ever has been or ever will be. You are unique. Just the odds of you being here at this exact place and this exact time are so great and so rare that they will never happen again.

This is a story about everything you will do and everything you could be. It’s for who you are right now, and it’s for all the magical, unbounded potential you hold inside.”

I was drawn to this beautiful over-sized book that is meant to be held by mom, dad, or that special adult along with a child to read together. The beauty of reading to a child is that you witness how not only reading to a child, but how the book’s message is received by the child. The illustrations help capture the imagination of the child to bring home a timeless and endearing message that the child much potential within themselves and that they matter in this world. They can even endure and persevere when things do not work out in the way they intended. Sharing this book with a child lets them know you believe in them too.

maybe’s message is a source of comfort for a child of any age including a college student. Even I found comfort between the pages as on this page, “Maybe you are here to help in ways that only you can?” The book, maybe will be a book that will remain at the top of my gift-giving list.

The beautiful book, maybe earns a heartfelt 5-Hoot Rating!

“Maybe, just maybe, you will exceed your wildest dreams…”

Peace,

P.S. Please consider ordering this book from your favorite local independent bookseller. Basis for my reviews and ratings can be found on the BOOK REVIEWS AND HOOT RATINGS page on this website.

REVIEW: Atlas Of The Heart

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Over the years I have sought out mental healthcare. I had been blessed with a wonderful psychologist and a psychiatrist over these years. This past year I once again sought the care of a therapist to assist me with navigating the turbulence of leukemia treatment as it related to the cognitive issues I was experiencing. Eventually, I decided to retire this past spring from full-time employment to concentrate on my physical and mental health. In one of my discussions with the therapist, we talked about the different mental healthcare therapies and notable experts on assorted topics.

Book Review: Atlas of the Heart, by Brene’ Brown Phd, MSW

Afterward I researched Brene’ Brown PhD, MSW and her professional research work on vulnerability and shame among other emotions. I was drawn to her #1 New York Times bestseller, Atlas of the Heart, Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, published by Random House Books, ©2021. It is a beautifully published book with a coffee table style quality.

From the inside front book jacket:

“In her latest book, five-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Brene’ Brown writes, “If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and be stewards of the stories that we hear. This is the framework for meaningful connection.

“…Atlas of the Heart draws on (two decades of research), as well as Brown’s singular skills as a storyteller, to show us how accurately naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power – it gives the power of understanding, meaning, and choice.”

This book was the first book in this genre where the author delicately inserted their own experiences, thoughts, and feelings on her research to the topic. Brene’ Brown’s storytelling adds an element that engages the author with the reader to convey the research information through her own experiences as well as the respondents from her team’s research. Anyone that is new or like me familiar with seeking out their own mental health care will rejoice with not only the valuable research she shares but how she shares it with the reader.

I had read only half of this book when I took the book to my next therapy session. I told my therapist, “After reading just a portion of this book, I realized that I may have missed my calling in my life. God must be furious at me for missing my purpose.” She replied, “It is never too late to start.” Inwardly I thought, “Yea, right! But it is too late.” After reading the rest of the book, I realized that it wasn’t too late to have practice the power and the courage to walk alongside. (More on this dialogue in a future blogging owl post.)

As I mentioned before, the book is published with coffee table book quality using white space for easy-reading and colorful illustrations to depict concepts and research data in ways that are both interesting and thought provoking. I have gifted this book to two family members who often exclaim that they are not interested in any self-help style books (their words not mine). One of them has already thanked me for giving him this book as he can see that it will help him with mapping out his emotional language. I am just overjoyed that he at least took the initiative to begin reading it.

No matter the adult age, I believe everyone can benefit from this exquisitely written book. As the author states, “we are the mapmakers and the travelers” of our own human experience. Suffice it to say there wasn’t anything I did not like about this book. It will remain in my personal library as a precious reference manual.

Bene’ Brown’s, Atlas of the Heart earns an enthusiastic 5-Hoot Rating!

It definitely exceeded my expectations within its genre and content value. I highly recommend buying this book for yourself and gifting a copy to those you love.

“Brown shares, “I want this book to be an atlas for all of us, because I believe that, with an adventurous hear and the right maps, we can travel anywhere and never fear losing ourselves.”

Peace,

P.S. Please consider ordering this book from your favorite local independent bookseller. Basis for my reviews and ratings can be found on the BOOK REVIEWS AND HOOT RATINGS page on this website.

Therapy, walking it out

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In my last post, I announced that for the month of August I was challenging myself to walk 6,000 steps every day. It is halfway through the month of August now. I have not walked every day due to weather, schedule, or pain; however, over the first 15 days, I have averaged 5,816 steps per day.

On the nature trail

I particularly love walking in the woods at the park whether it is my neighborhood wooded park or the state park.

The elderly couple who lost their dog earlier this year now carry a bag of bacon Beggin’ strips to hand out to the dogs they meet along the path. Each time they vaguely remember Carmela and me only to tell us the same story again of the loss of their pet.

A woman who introduced herself as Theresa and her poodle-mix, Penny whom she carries more than allows to walk. As we walked, she told me of her two divorces to two veterans who grew up in the area although she is from Georgia and had lived in Germany for two years with one of her now exes. I enjoyed her stories, and we ended our time together with her giving me her personal card with phone number and email address. She said most times when she hands her card to people she meets along the trail, she never hears from them again. I plan on contacting her to join us occasionally on our walks.

There are experienced walkers, bicyclists, skateboarders who know the unwritten etiquette rules of approaching and passing others on the trail or path, and then there are others who are oblivious to others enjoyment. The sneakers and the loud talkers. The people who sneak up on you without announcing their approach are usually on bikes and then wonder why I am slowing them down. The loud talkers who travel in twos or packs that stop in the middle of the path blocking those who would like to move through without dodging bike tires and hand gestures. I usually wait behind them until they eventually move along to protect Carmela.

When I am aware of people approaching from behind or ahead of me, Carmela is commanded to sit by my side until they pass by. Dog manners are important especially when people want to pet dogs they do not know. When strangers, children, or other dog owners’ approach, I do not know their history with dogs or their dog. Are they scared of dogs? Have they had a bad experience with dogs? Do they have preconceived ideas about breed mixes? Do their dogs get along with other dogs? Dog manners protect everyone (including appropriate leashes and properly taking care of pet waste).

While Carmela is sitting, I allow certain children and adults to pet her, but I instruct them to approach slowly, holding out their hand to allow Carmela to sniff while I am crouching next to her, and then I allow them to pet her advising them not to put their faces too close to Carmela’s face. Carmela is a friendly dog; however, she is still a dog. Dogs can be spooked by sudden moves or loud voices. Dogs and kids can be unpredictable.

Meeting nature

The best meditation walk is early in the morning or early evening with fewer people to share the trail or path and the woods are just waking up and the wildlife begins to appear.

The peace of the woods is a drug. I am easily transported to a peaceful place in mind, body, and spirit. The deer seem to silently float through the trees. Chipmunks that race atop the logs, the bird choir, and the squirrels that dodge and dart patrolling the woods, the herons, and otters along the riverbanks, and the scent of the evergreens, the white pine, the oaks and the maples all living side by side is magical and intoxicating.

Nature walks are the best therapy drug.

I take pictures and wildlife videos of my walks and incorporate them into my journal reflections. As the seasons change, I can reflect on how nature changes as well as how I have changed. Journaling in general has always been the best therapy but incorporating my reflections from these meditative nature walks over the past weeks has brought that therapy to a new level of stress relief in mind, body, and spirit to setting new goals (which I will be writing about in my next blog post) for harmony in wellness.

Until next time…

Peace,

Walking, 6,000 step challenge

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On The Blogging Owl Facebook page, I created an event for the month of August to achieve 6,000 steps each day. 6,000 steps equate to 2.5 miles. I created this event to help keep me accountable for walking 1-2 miles per day and to keep moving throughout the day to achieve a total of 6,000 daily steps.

The Mayo Clinic states the average American walks 3,000 to 4,000 steps per day, or roughly 1.5 to 2 miles. They suggest that however many steps a day you walk now should be used as a baseline. Then working up toward the goal of 10,000 steps by aiming to add 1,000 extra steps a day every two weeks.

All summer I have been attempting to instill the habit of daily walking. My production editor, Carmela has been a good walking companion and we both reap the rewards of harmony in mind, body, and spirit after our walk. Unfortunately, my health keeps me from daily walking due to leukemia arthritis, muscle, and bone pain; but I keep trying because ironically movement does help with the pain. We soldier on with the length of our walks and different activities to achieve physical and mental fitness for the both of us.

Carmela, my walking companion.

Over the last few months, I have found products that have helped both Carmela and I enjoy our walks together. Carmela will be two years old in October (she gave me permission to divulge her age) and was trained over the course of 10 weeks through the prison training program at www.RPSM.org. She is a good walker. Carmela sits or lays down when anyone passes by either on foot or on a bicycle. I encourage this behavior to let others know she is polite and well-behaved. It is also for her protection from those who do not ask for permission to pet other people’s dogs. It is a signal for others to ask permission.

Walking product review #1: No Pull Harness Lead by Harness Lead

Even with Carmela’s training, she can still pull on the leash when a chipmunk decides to make a fast getaway across the pathway head of us, or when other untrained dogs decide to lung at her. In my research for the perfect walking lead, I found the “Harness Lead No Pull Harness and Leash Set. It is a one-piece anti-pull dog harness for all breeds and sizes cushioned rope design that safely prevents escaping and pulling.

“The owner and inventor of Harness Lead, Lisa Bray Flynn, formerly a shelter volunteer, spent countless hours in the company of homeless dogs. She faced the need to fit all the different body types in the shelter, prevent the problem of scared/skittish dogs backing out of the harnesses and collars and reducing the pulling of dogs with pent up energy in a gentle and humane way.”

“We offer wholesale pricing for animal shelters and 501c3 rescue groups with a minimum order of 12. Go to Wholesale page to apply for a wholesale account!”

– From the website, www.HarnessLead.com

The leash is handcrafted in the U.S.A. in a variety of colors. The leash is available on Amazon for $33.00. Please see the videos on Amazon and on the http://www.HarnessLead.com website. I encourage you to visit their website for additional cool products.

I purchased an orange reflective harness leash for Carmela. The harness is easy and quick to put on Carmela which is a bonus. I like the material and the length of the leash. Walking has definitely become a more comfortable experience for the both of us. The Blogging Owl gives this product a 5-Hoot Rating!

Walking product review #2: DogBuddy Portable Dog Poop Scooper

Carmela and I participated in the local kid and pet parade on July 4th. Due to the heat and excitement, Carmela left a soft pile (and she would have me note that she did this by human porta-potty). It was a bit difficult to scoop up with the traditional plastic bag over the hand maneuver leaving some of her poo on my hand (Yck!). There has to be a better way to take care of her business.

I found the DogBuddy Portable Dog Poop Scooper, Sanitary Waste Pick-Up, Heavy-Duty Cleaner with Dispenser, Leash Clip and Pooper Scooper Bags Included.” It is a portable pooper scooper that clips on the dog’s leash or your backpack. Integrated into the DogBuddy is an integrated waste bag compartment using standard rolls (Amazon reviewers have also commented that they use grocery bags rolled up inside this compartment too.) The backside of the DogBuddy expands to adjust the size of the poop pile so you can get it all in one scoop. It is an effective design to remove dog waste from any surface without using your hands.

The DogBuddy can be purchased on Amazon for $13.99 or by visiting www.bestdogbuddy.com. The DogBuddy comes in medium and large. Videos on using this product are available on Amazon and on their website. The Blogging Owl gives this product a 5-Hoot Rating!

My walking essentials.

I like using my Fjällräven backpack because it is the right size, has plenty of pockets and is sturdy. Inside I have a bottle of CORE water, collapsible water bowl, my iPhone, tissues, and the DogBuddy clipped to the outside of the backpack. My Apple watch has my medical alert tag on the watchband with emergency instructions (Stainless Steel Customized Alert ID tag with for Apple watchbands available on Amazon for $17.99). Comfortable walking shoes, breathable socks, and weather appropriate walking clothes round out my walking essentials and Carmela, of course!

I will be posting my daily steps on The Blogging Owl Facebook page. I hope you will join me in this fitness challenge in mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within!

Come on, Carmela! Let’s Go!

Peace,

P.S. Download the Steps to Miles Calculator to your phone at www.omnicalculator.com.

2023 Words to Live By, an update

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We are halfway through 2023 and it is time to review the first 6 months of my 3 words to live by for this year. My blog post, https://thebloggingowl.com/2022/11/15/2023-words-to-live-by/….. reviewed my words to live by list to which I added words – patience, independent, and stories – for 2023.

Patience

In my previous 3 Words to Live By post, I asked the question, is patience a virtue? Patience is an admirable quality when we know others are trying to do their best within their current situation. It is when we come across those who have it within their control to change their circumstances that we become impatient. However, we don’t always know if they actually do have it entirely in their control.

Earlier this summer, a new neighbor down the street saw me in the front yard as I was waiting for my landscaper to come by to provide me with an estimate on redesigning a flower bed. We live on a corner lot and this particular flower bed faces the corner streets entering the neighborhood. We had it landscaped 2 years ago, however, last summer we were unable to maintain it as my health had taken a wrong turn. This summer the flower bed was overgrown and unruly. This new neighbor without properly introducing herself except to say they moved into the green-house down the street began the conversation with how bad the flower bed looked unknowing that I was waiting for the landscaper to discuss that very situation. “I’m a gardener,” she stated, “there is too many plants in there.” I politely told her I was waiting for the landscaper to discuss redesigning it. She also went on to tell me that my dogs always bark at her and her dog when they walk by our house. (Our house sits on a bit of hill with a fairly large city front yard. The dogs can barely be seen in the window from the street.) Since my dogs are never in the front yard but bark from inside the front window, I simply stated that, “dogs bark. That’s what they do.”

The landscaper arrived much to my relief. “Here he is now. Will you excuse me?” As she was walking away, she turned and she pointed at my face, “do you remember my name??” We briefly exchanged names during her dominating discussion. I said to her, “I’m sorry, chemo brain, what is your name again?” My name is Michelle!

What can we learn from these interactions?

“Remember: when people tell you something is wrong, or it doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” Neil Gaiman, Writer.

The “know” versus “think” is where I have learned my level of patience even when it comes to myself. I am learning to ask, “Do I know? Or do I think I know?” Leukemia is desperately trying to teach me patience with outcomes, but more importantly empathy where I thought I had it.

Michelle needed my patience; and I needed her empathy (at least that is what I thought), but that wasn’t going to happen if we were not taking the time to hear each other’s story. It is possible that Michelle needed my empathy, and I needed her patience. So far in 2023, my awareness for patience with others has grown. I cannot assume the details of everyone’s story in that moment as others cannot assume the details of mine. Perhaps Michelle and I can adjust our footing in our next encounter to get to know one another better.

Independence

I confess. I am not independent from social media. Perhaps that was too lofty of a goal. I have found harmony in not reading as many comment threads to social or news media posts. The headline often instructs me on the comment thread that is sure to follow. There are social media sites that do offer a modicum of a respectful town square. It depends on the individual’s definition of respectful and healthy debate.

A small bit of independent success has come from not inserting myself into un-winnable debates whether online or in-person. Again, leukemia has taught me the value of time. I do not want to invest precious moments persuading a point-of-view unless the other party is willing to considerately hear my perspective. It is true that no one can help a troubled person if they don’t think they need it – me included. Please do not misunderstand my point here. I do not believe the person is troubled who does not agree with my perspective. I am simply stating that we can own our opinions and yet be open to hearing other opinions without causing distress with each other through name-calling or dismissive rhetoric. If we are willing to take time to listen to each other’s story perhaps we may learn something that will help us find a positive way forward with each other.

Stories

The word, story has been intertwined with my first two words, patience, and independence. I am a curious person eager to know others. The best conversation that leads to learning about each other’s story is posing the open-ended questions of who, what, why, where, when, and how. The trick is knowing what words come after that opening word when asking a question of someone or of myself. Is the question being asked with a genuine and earnest desire to hear their story? Or is it to intrusive or inappropriate?

When we read a book, we do not know the ending unless we jump to the back of the book to read the closing chapter or pages. Unfortunately, we do not have the ability to know our real life ending beforehand even with an illness. Conversation is a deliberate process of listening and learning with the knowledge that it is coming from a perspective. Are we patient enough to learn it? Can we accept the story when it may or may not agree with the storyteller? How does the story affect me? Others? How can I make it a simple, pleasant interaction or nothing at all just to move on?

Our stories are continually in development, I am still processing mine through the lens of reflection since retiring this past spring from full-time employment. I have begun genealogy research of my family. How do their stories transition to mine? What will I learn about myself through learning their stories? Why do these stories matter to me? What vision do I have for my continuing story and for the ending? How will my story affect my sons? What are the stories of ‘my people’ who are not associated to me by blood, but by friendship, professional association, or acquaintance?

I tend to overthink. And that is a story for another day.

Peace,

Wellness, a reflective pose

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Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on the practice of mindful meditation. This is the third and last post in the series.

Yoga, is it right for you?

In the first two installments of this series of mindful meditation, I have shared a stationary and walking method of mindful meditation that I use along with my personal practice of journaling.

The next mindful practice to explore is yoga. Many of my friends practice daily yoga, the combination of stretching and breathing through different yoga poses to improve mental and cardiovascular health as well as to improve focus and memory. I have tried several times to learn and participate in yoga classes, one-on-one or online. Yoga hasn’t caught on for me yet, but it may be the perfect meditation practice for you.

The article, Yoga vs Meditation: Which Is Better for Me? By Rachel Sharpe dated October 19, 2022, provides excellent information on the differences between guided meditation and yoga. I found this article on the website, Declutter The Mind. I highly recommend this online resource or their app.declutterthemind.com – Declutter The Mind guided meditation library. The library provides guided meditation covering a host of topics such as anxiety, insomnia, focus and many more. The Plus program offers even more resources such as classes and talks for a fee to help you further your meditation practice. Declutter The Mind receives a 5-Hoot Rating from The Blogging Owl.

journaling, a process for reflection

Journaling has always been my go-to practice since I was a child. Since becoming diagnosed with leukemia almost three years ago, I have become resistant to leukemia treatment and the possibility of reaching a major molecular remission is slim, yet I remain hopeful.

I journal before and after whatever mindful meditation I have chosen for the day. Journaling before meditating helps me to dump everything out on the page. Reflecting after meditation helps me form an imprint for a positive way forward. Positivity may not happen in a day, a week, but over a longer period of time.

Journaling, as I have mentioned in previous posts, does not have to be written with perfect grammar and punctuation in perfectly formed sentences. (Some days it is merely phrases or simply a word because of my current state of mind, body, and spirit.) You may be a person who can express themselves better through drawing, painting, or photography. Journaling is personal. It is your personal form of communication that helps to reframe your mind, body, and spirit for a positive way forward.

Journaling is the practice and process of answering the open questions of our past and current experiences, and our future hopes, dreams, and expectations. It is the daily (for me) dumping of our mind and spirit to create a healthier wellness so as not to negatively impact the body. It is the process of bringing about harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the positive potential within us.

I offer you my own personal affirmations that slowly developed over time. It has taken many years of journaling to find my personal peace. If there is a benefit to becoming chronically ill, it is becoming more aware of time, how things can change in a moment. My personal belief is journaling, and the result of mindful meditation is divinely influenced. I don’t often see that positive divine influence until much later in my reflections. It is why the daily habit of journaling is so important. My journals are the chronicle of my life and upon reflection I see the divine spirit’s influence in between the lines and on all the pages.

To help you get started today, turn the following mindful affirmations into open questions (who, what, where, when how) for your own journaling and begin the dumping of your mind and spirit before you meditate and afterward reflecting on the content of your journal to create your own personal meditation affirmations.

The Owl’s Journal Affirmations

I am at peace for what I took for granted.
> I choose gratitude.

I am at peace for the mistakes, blunders, and failures.
> I choose acceptance.

I am at peace with the boundaries I have set, the doors I have bolted, and the windows I have left open.
> I choose well-being.

I am at peace with what I may never experience.
> I choose fulfillment today.

I am at peace with the level of accomplishment today.
> I choose to be enough.

I am at peace with what I cannot control.
> I choose faith in God.

I am at peace with my illness.
> I choose a positive outlook.

I am at peace with what I forget and what I remember.
> I choose the present.

I am at peace with forgiveness.
> I choose sanctification.

I am at peace for all I am and all I am not.
> I choose God’s knowledge of my heart.

I am at peace with my identity.
> I choose simply being human.

I am at peace.
> I choose love.

In closing this short blog series on wellness and the practice of meditation, I hope that you have found the information helpful on the ways I meditate to get you started on mindful meditation. There are many healthy ways to meditate. I am praying that you will continue to explore resources to help you maintain the practice of meditation in whatever form that feels right for you. May you find the peace and harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the positive potential within you.

Peace,

Wellness, a mindful walk

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Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on mindful meditation. This is the second post in the series.

One of the most important currently in the United States are general psychological distress and stress-related diseases. It is important to prevent and treat individuals with acute or chronic psychological distress with simple and cost-effective non-pharmacological therapies wherever possible and appropriate.

A study on reducing stress and improving quality of life:

In a randomized control trial studied the effectiveness of mindful walking in participants aged between 18 and 65 years old with moderate to high levels of perceived psychological distress. The National Library of Medicine concluded in this study that patients participating in a mindful walking program showed reduced psychological stress symptoms and an improved quality of life.

quieting the mind: step-by-step

As mentioned in my first post in this series, Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit, mindful meditation, mindful meditation takes regular practice to produce lasting results. Practicing mindful meditation even for a few minutes every day can produce positive results.

If you have difficulty with sitting still, the walking meditation can be a good alternative. Walking is a very accessible meditation that can be practiced anywhere there is an open space to walk. Begin your mindful walking meditation slowly. Try walking 10-15 minutes daily and gradually increasing the duration of your medication practice. It is important to choose comfortable clothing and appropriate footwear for an extended distance.

Step 1: Mindfully choosing the place

Choosing a quiet place where you can walk without distraction and loud noises – a park or beach is ideal for walking meditation. Choices may be limited to where you live, or work and you may find availability of an indoor space that can offer a relaxing environment – a gym with a walking track or perhaps a treadmill using noise-cancelling headphones.

Step 2: Mindfully choosing your pace

The keywords to choosing your pace is smoothly and steadily. There is not a race to win so there is no need to walk too fast. If you must use headphones or earbuds (devices can be a distraction and are discouraged) softly listening to mindful instrumental music is helpful for focus and relaxing to finding your pace. My personal recommendation for indoor walking is Mindful Meditation Musication, Heavenly Glow – available on iTunes and possibly elsewhere – other album titles are also available.

Step 3: Mindfully focus on the walking movement

Focus on the sensation of walking – the feet as they rise and fall, the sensation of the breath flowing through the body, and the sensation of wind/air upon the skin.

Step 4: Mindfully observe your surroundings

Observe the beauty of the surrounding nature and allow it to help you to relax and concentrate on your movement and pace – the trees, flowers, birds, animals, the water. If indoors, imagine yourself in the park, on the beach, or out in nature while being present in the moment with relaxed breathing and a steady walking pace.

Step 5: Mindfully leave your thoughts behind

Observe your thoughts and feelings, allowing them to pass by like the clouds above, ebb with waves or left behind on the beach by the tracks of your shoes. Allow these thoughts to flow out of you without judgement.

Reflection

Reflecting on each walking experience will help you to maximize the benefits to relieving stress and anxiety. I mentioned in my last post that journaling can be an effective method for meditation reflection. If you are not keen on writing, try painting or sketching what you observed on your walk and the impression of your walking meditation experience has left upon you.

Walking not only has improved my psychological outlook, but it has also helped me to alleviate the spiraling effects of anxiety. Walking improves cardiovascular fitness and strengthens immunity. If you struggle with chronic illness as I do, walking meditation brings more harmony to mind, body, and spirit.

Peace,

Wellness, peace of mind

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Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on mindful meditation. This is the first post in the series.

Meditation as an Adjunct to the Management of Acute Pain from the National Library of Medicine found:

“While some studies have found a bigger impact of meditation on the emotional response to painful stimulus than on the reduction in action pain intensities, functional Magnetic Imaging has enabled the identification of various brain areas involved in meditation-induced pain relief. Potential benefits of meditation in acute pain treatment include changes in neurocognitive processes. Practice and Experience are necessary to induce pain modulation. In the treatment of acute pain, evidence is emerging only recently. Meditative techniques represent a promising approach for acute pain in various settings.”

Countdown to pain relief

Create Your Own Time (5)

o This is your time without distraction by anyone or any device.
o Choose a safe, secure, and comfortable place.
o Wear clothing (or not) that allows full and unrestrictive breathing.
o Schedule a time that will encourage consistency to practice mindfulness.
o Allow yourself to be fully immersed in the meditative experience in every moment.

Awareness of Time (4)

o Attune your attention to inhaling and exhaling each breath while sitting or lying in a comfortable position.
o Allow all judgments and critical thoughts about your body, mind, spirit to fade away.
o Close your eyes and acknowledge how you are able to sense any sensations in your body.
o Acknowledge acceptance with whatever you are feeling in each moment.

Awareness of Body (3)

o Imagine each part of your body becoming relaxed with each breath – starting from the top of your head to your toes – head, ears, face, shoulders, trunk, arms, elbows, wrists, fingertips, hips, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, toes.
o Experience each moment fully until each part of your body is completely relaxed.
o Concentrate simply slowing down with each breath – in, out, in, out.

Visualize (2)

o Visualize a place that brings peace – laying on a beach with the warmth of sun caressing you, sitting near a flowing river feeling it’s tranquility, breathing in the beauty and the crisp air of a mountaintop, floating in water feeling the buoyancy of the waves, laying on fresh mowed grass or in a field of wildflowers breathing the sweet scents.
o Allow yourself to relax further in that peaceful place with no thoughts, no feelings, no expectations only being present in that moment.

Awaken to Gratitude (1)

o Open your eyes with the awareness of gratitude for this peace.

Reflection

Reflect on your meditation experience for pain relief in mind, body, and spirit before your next meditation session. I recommend daily journaling daily or at least weekly. Ask yourself open-ended questions about your meditative experience in mind, body, and spirit – how, what, why, how, when… A future post in this series will be dedicated to the different types of journaling for mindful meditation.

As someone who cannot ingest pain medications due to my resistance to leukemia treatment, this mindful meditation practice helps me to manage chronic and acute pain in mind, body, and spirit. Whatever the source of your pain or its’ acuity, as studies have indicated you may receive positive benefits of mindful meditation given consistency and practice.

Peace,

Opinion, on love and compassion

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In this month of June, several counties and communities in Michigan have made decisions on the demonstration of gay pride and book bans to name just a few topics of debate.

My personal opinion

Firstly, each person as a right to their individual opinion.

Secondly, each person deserves to feel safe in public and in private, to be loved, and have the necessities in life to thrive in mind, body, and spirit.

If someone denies another person’s safety, the necessities to thrive and be loved, then in my opinion these denials are an expression of hatred of another person’s existence and rights.

I often hear people speak of or make a statement like, “I have nothing against them! BUT I don’t want it shoved down my throat.” ‘Them’ is a referral to those who identify in the LGBQIA2+ community, persons who want to be referred to using personal pronouns, race, ethnicity, spiritual beliefs, and/or cultures different from their own.

While I may not always agree with someone who may appear different than I am or of an opinion different than my own, I do not feel anything is being thrust down my throat. I have learned not to allow anyone to disturb my peace. (Not everyone’s road to peace is easy.)

Hateful and oppressive opinions and their aggressive actions do affect ALL of us.

Thirdly, I do believe that someone we may know or love feels unsafe, unloved, unsupported or have the courageous authenticity or genuine necessities to thrive in mind, body, and spirit.

I wave all flags of love including the pride flag because we are all born human.

I can never give another person what I have found in mind, body, and spirit, but I can cause them to have a desire for love and compassion because I believe my purpose, and the commandment given to me is to love my neighbor as myself. If I do not speak and act in the way of love and compassion it would also be a denial of myself.

In my opinion, we would not need flags, ban books, or be fearful of differences if we can all just identify with love and compassion for each other.

May each of us find harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within.

Peace,

P.S. HUMAN photo credit, please reach out to me so I may give you proper credit for your artwork.

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Peace,

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Cancer has taught me to love the life God has given me.

How do I want to live on this day?

Cancer has taught me that my resiliency is grounded in my spiritual faith.

Cancer caused me to seek the true meaning of love.

Peace,

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Opinions

Here is what I do know…

My new mantra is, “Don’t inhale what others are exhaling.”

What I have also learned…

Live in peace,

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mOTIVATION mONDAY

tRUSTING tUESDAY

wORTHWHILE wEDNESDAY

Thanksgiving Thursday

Freedom Friday

Self-Awareness Saturday

Silent Sunday

(Please consider subscribing to The Blogging Owl on Substack as not all of my writing is shown here on TheBloggingOwl.com or TheOwlPoet.com. The above journal entries were adapted from posts on substack.com/@thebloggingowl )

Live in peace,

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Yet, I do need a hopeful, empowered version of myself. And so does the world.

Live in peace,

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Social media has a way of showing true colors including mine.

A friendship journal

Remember a time when you waited by the mailbox to receive a letter?

Could a telephone call or an email accomplish the same result?

This is the art of true friendship.

Better Social Media Decisions.

Live in peace,

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I absolutely LOVE this job because of its physicality and to be surrounded by books!

Books, books, and more books

Know your value

What is that standard of value in what we offer or do?

The Blogging Owl online bookstore

Live in peace,

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Where is that purity of purpose?

Every day and every evening

Change is intentional.

Live in Peace,

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Great people do not know how to give in or give up.

I refuse to become one of those voices that normalizes what is going on and to think that there is nothing I can do.

Why do we as a culture persist in attempting to control the lives of others?

The New Colossus, By Emma Lazarus

Live in peace,

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How many Americans are now regretting their decision last November?

How many Americans are now saying, “I told you so.”

How can we resist despair, rage, and feelings of powerlessness?

Joan Baez once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.”

Despair differs from resignation.

Live in peace,

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What is love anyway?

Owning our power to love

Cultivating love

Where is the compassion?

Adopting a new attitude toward love

Live in peace,

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Grit is passion tempered with patient persistence

Grit is a call to action