A new decade begins!
The last decade began with a loss of a career that I had built over many years in the financial services industry from receptionist to Vice President of Sales. The loss came as a result of the U.S. economic crisis that began showing its’ teeth in 2008. The loss devastated me in more ways than just the loss of income, loss of retirement funds, and more critically the loss of worth in the eyes of employers looking for youth and lower fixed asset costs.
The loss of identity
I loved through stages of crisis management. Some stages some comment to me heroically and other stages with such caustic bitterness that I did not know I or those around me would endure.
My career had become my statement that I had made a good life out of poor beginnings. But would I learned over the course of the decade of self-employment and eventually permanent employment something more revealing about a place of hurt. A place of internal hurt that kept moving me from one small crisis to another until this external crisis imploded on everything, I believed, I was as a person.
The gain of purpose
Over this last decade, I did not adhere to a mantra that I had created over two decades ago that helped me to minimize my anxious reactions that grew from that (unrecognized at the time) place of hurt. I don’t see this mantra as particularly prophetic, but what I would learn much later was a mechanism of survival. I ignored the crisis warning signs then. If I had, my reactions to my life this past decade would most probably have been different.
However, with all that said, I am grateful for this past decade because all of that sifting and sanding has left me polished for a new purpose for this new decade. I am grateful for a new career that compensates me a third of what I earned a decade before. Yes, I am grateful. I have a new purpose that only an internal peace can produce the extraordinary opportunities I thought impossible ten years ago.
Resist Reaction Reason Rules (a mantra)
Someone right now is going through the same scenario that I experienced ten years ago. They are starting the year jobless, homeless, or experiencing some other type of loss that they wonder as I did, “What now?” or “How will I survive, or my family survive?” All the what, where, how, who, when questions that cause endless nights of insomnia and night sweats.
Perhaps the crisis may not be that dramatic but still they wonder, “How should I react?” And most people in what others may see as “smaller” crisis but still a major crisis in the mind who is that crisis-mode will not hit the pause or remove their hands from the keyboard, but simply react much like what happens on social media, mainstream media, or elsewhere.
Ask the question: “What is reasonable?”
Is what is said reasonable?
Is what the other person is asking me to do reasonable?
Is their reaction reasonable?
Is my reaction reasonable?
Am I being reasonable?
My purpose is to help others around me to pause, resist reaction and ask what is reasonable in their current experience. I am no expert, per se. I do not have a psychology degree. I have scraped the bowl of despair and I would not wish anyone feeling that type of emptiness. Experience is a great teacher and can make mentors out of those who learn from their experience. I pray I have learned well.
I will be honest. I continue to fail at being reasonable at times. I continue to learn as I live but together, let’s pause and ask the question, “What is reasonable?”
Two Silver Bracelets
I wear two bracelets every day to remind me of the peace within me and to resist reactions that do not come from that inner peace.
The first bracelet “FIERCE” has an inscription on the inside of the bracelet to remind me of where my fierceness resides. It does not reside in that place of hurt, but where everything is possible.
The second bracelet “RESIST REACTION. REASON RULES” was made for me by a friend upon my request so I could remind myself to pause when I find myself wanting to react without asking the question, “What is reasonable?”
Would you like to buy a resist reaction bracelet? If so, please email at Hoot@TheBloggingOwl.com for purchasing details.
May your new decade be one of purpose.
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The Blogging Owl
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