As I sat rifling through the dream box searching for which project I wanted to finish or start anew, I saw photographs of a person I vaguely remember.
Oh, For the love of scotch! This reminds me of a story…
Last summer on a hot Saturday morning in late August, I had driven to Rite-Aid to pick up prescriptions. I wandered the aisles as I was waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. I glanced down at my phone and saw that I had missed a notification from our house Ring security app.
I rewound the video that sets off the Ring alert to the back door. Who is that?! I thought as I watched the video.
The video is showing a woman, or at least I think it is a woman, bending down toward the doormat. Then she turns without showing her face entering our garage through the open garage door where my husband’s car is usually parked.
I called Vinny Sal immediately. “I saw a woman come into our garage from the Ring app. What did she want?”
“What woman?” he asks.
“Oh! For the love scotch, Vinny. How many times have I said not to leave the garage doors open. Go out there and see if anything is missing.”
I stand tapping my foot, rewinding the video again, waiting for Vinny Sal to call me back.
“Nothing is gone,” he remarks in his usual a monotone voice.
“Did she knock on the kitchen door from the garage?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything but I could have been downstairs.” he says unperturbed.
“Remember what I said about keeping the garage doors down? Can you put the garage door down please?!”
My anxiety and irritation are amped up. (I have a history with garages that dates back to a different lifetime ago; but that’s a story for another time.) I picked up my prescriptions and left the pharmacy.
My anxiety and irritation had a stranglehold on me.
Who is this woman?? What was she doing in our garage?? I sped home to evaluate the garage for myself. After reassuring myself that everything was in order, I sat on the patio to watch the Ring video again. I was still dizzy with anxiety. I watched the Ring video twice more.
Oh! For the love of scotch! I said underneath my breath.
The woman was me!! The Ring app went off when I put an envelope under the doormat for the dog sitters. I had just returned home the evening before from four days of being in acute care at the University of Michigan hospital. The last few years of the COVID pandemic, a leukemia diagnosis, chemo resistance, and now blood clots were turning me into a person I barely recognize anymore – both physically and cognitively. Unfortunately, the weeks ahead would only get worse before they would get better again.
Later that afternoon, my eldest son called to check up on me. He wanted to know if I was doing better since being released from the hospital. I confessed my story about the Ring video. Laughing, he asked, “did you tell dad?”
“Are you kidding? No! He would never let me live that one down,” I laughed.
Turning back to the dream box…
As I flip through these photographs again of vaguely familiar faces looking back at me, I realize all the faces are of me. It will take some time to go through an reacquaint myself with the person I once was in each photograph. It makes me realize though, the legacy I want to leave behind for my sons is of love, laughter, and a bit of wisdom. I wonder if there are enough dreams in this dream box to accomplish that legacy project.
For the love of scotch, I hope so.
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