This past week a friend posted on their Instagram story a meme from tinybuddha.com that read,
“I dream of never being called resilient again in my life. I am exhausted by strength. I want support. I want softness. I want ease. I want to be amongst my kin. Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit. Or for how many.” Zomdashe’ L’orelia Brown
Wow! I said to myself. This resonates with every fiber of my being.
My friend has a familiar story to my own of a lost career several years ago to no fault of her own or within her control. Since that loss, they too have kept themselves afloat financially with contract jobs and positivity. My friend and I were raised in the same hometown, graduated from the same high school, and are in the same age group. While our stories are familiar, our lives are different and unique to us just as yours is to you.
Mental Health, the breakdown
“I dream of never being called resilient again in my life.”
That constant inner positivity of pulling oneself up by their bootstraps is exhausting. In fact, I believe that constant striving for normalcy and purely surviving is toxic to our mental health if left unchecked. How many times can a person be knocked down before they cry, “I give, damn it!” This new year I am banishing toxic positivity and embracing mental harmony.
“I am exhausted by strength. I want support. I want softness. I want ease.”
This past year was a year of battles in health (mind, body, spirit) and fucking insurance companies. I am tired as most resilient people are of the weight of their individual battles won or lost. Whatever the source of these battles, people need to put their mental health first and foremost in the new year.
“I want to be amongst my kin. Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit. Or how many.”
Toxic negativity does not contribute to mental health either. I have yet to find that balance within my community perhaps more boundary setting is necessary. Could it be that I am tired of adulting? Is it fading into a crowd without being the topic of discussion? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that most of us are tired of fighting battles that feel like more have been lost than won.
The harmony of being.
I want to focus on me without anyone focused on me. Does that make sense? Resilient people are cramming negativity down into every nook and cranny of their being while searching for any positivity to be worn from an outdated closet that doesn’t show the moth-eaten holes or stains of insomnia, catastrophic thoughts, anxiety, or depression.
Do you see yourself in any elements of this story? If so, make your mental health a priority. I am.
I suggest we invest in a new wardrobe for 2023. A wardrobe that says, ‘I am grateful for me’ worn for any occasion and without apology. A wardrobe that sets healthy boundaries, practices mindfulness, engages in fun physical activities and in creativity that increases dopamine to boost the immune system. We deserve to feel the harmony of being in mind, body, and spirit.
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