Patience has no sense of humor.

This morning I posted on social media that I felt a blog post coming on. I was prepared to write on the topic of patience. I was prepared to finally have the second of two medical tests that would hopefully explain a continuing and worsening condition I have been experiencing since February. I was prepared to write that I would be patiently waiting for the results of the second test hopefully resulting in a normal diagnosis as my first medical test that I had completed a week ago.

I was prepared to write about the virtue of patience – the ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

The sense of humor test

Health insurance companies do not have a sense of urgency. In fact, I think they would rather we die instead. ”Let the life insurance companies handle it.” I can hear them laughing in their boardrooms.

Two common heart tests cannot be performed on the same day or my healthcare insurance will not pay for either test. This means I must take off two afternoons of work one week apart.

Patience.

First test, I arrived 3 minutes early and they called me back at the designated appointment time. I left exhausted but no issues. I survived the stress test. My cardiologist’s office called 3 days later with results. Normal. Now, I wait a 3 more days for the second test.

Patience.

Second test, I arrive 15 minutes early and they call me back at the designated appointment time for an Echocardiogram. I dutifully follow the technician’s instructions. She smears gel on my chest. I stifle a giggle.

BAM! LIGHTS OUT!

“Have I died? Have I ascended to heaven?” I ask, “because this is not how I imagined the ascension to heaven process would happen.”

I turn to see the frustration on her face with the computer screen. The lights flickered back on.

“No, Sheri, you are alive, but my computer is dead. We will have to reschedule your appointment. I am really sorry.” She says flatly with that still perturbed, furrowed brow.

I am not sure which one of us failed the sense of humor test. She ushered me to the scheduling desk to reschedule my echocardiogram. Another week. Another afternoon I must take off of work.

Patience

Waiting for answers

Google the word patience and you will find all kinds of quotes and memes trying to persuade us that patience doesn’t suck, and we are all better for hanging on and holding out.

I walked out to the hospital parking lot and climbed into my car. I cried.

I wasn’t just crying for myself. I looked around at all the cars in that hospital parking lot. Every car there had someone drive to this hospital today hoping for an answer. I thought about all the people I know who are waiting for answers to a myriad of life questions.

Life is all about waiting, isn’t it?

We seem to have to wait beyond our limits for something to arrive. Love, money, success, weight loss, health…

Patience.

I have the ability for patience. I do. I just don’t have the willingness to suppress my annoyance with delay.

How do I conjure up the willingness to suppress my annoyance, my restlessness for answers?

o   I remind myself every single time, patience has paid off for me.
o   I will write my way through it as I have time and time again.
o   Serve and comfort others because life is one big hospital waiting room.

Patience.

It is difficult to have a sense of humor in those times of waiting especially if it is a life or death matter. Yet, I hope I never lose my sense of humor short of that circumstance.
God wanted me to post about patience today. He just didn’t like what I was going to write so instead the joke is on me. He certainly has a funny sense of humor about my heart.

Until next time (unless you hear from my life insurance agent), be well.

Peace,

Head shot 2019 - revised

The Blogging Owl

Any Book Recommendations?

Give me a hoot by email:     Hoot@TheBloggingOwl.com

I would love it if you would follow this blog and at The Blogging Owl on Facebook, as well as, on Twitter @TheBloggingOwl and Instagram.

 

(c) 2017-2019 All Rights Reserved

2019 – Three Words to Live By

A year ago, I posted my three words to live by for 2018.

Frugality (updated to minimalism). Grace. Truth.

I will continue to live by those three words in 2019 and I will be adding to those words three new words. I wrote this post three weeks ago on November 26th, but after reading what I had written I posted the following on The Blogging Owl Facebook page:

“Sometimes you just have to remove your hands from the keyboard and allow what has been written to marinate for as long as it takes be become tender.”  – The Blogging Owl

While my three words to live by in 2019 are the same, this post is much different than the one I wrote on November 26th.

Wisdom (seek)

The world demands our immediate response because of the fast pace of technology. My three words to live by in 2018 – minimalismgracetruth – have taught me to slow down in mind, body, and spirit.

How often have I given an opinion or posted a comment here, elsewhere or in person that didn’t legitimately seek to understand but resulted in derision and divisiveness?

While owls are supposedly known for their wisdom (I don’t include myself here), I have chosen my first word to be – Wisdom.

To seek knowledge of what is true or right, coupled with just judgment as to action, discernment, or insight. (Dictionary.com)

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”  – e.e. cummings

In this owl’s opinion, if a person does not feed the brain, the person becomes greedy. If a person does not feed the heart, the person becomes needy. And in both cases, the person becomes self-serving in spirit.

Proverbs 2:6-11 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
6 The LORD gives wisdom.
From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He has reserved priceless wisdom for decent people.
He is a shield for those who walk in integrity
8 in order to guard those on the paths of justice
and to watch over the way of his godly ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—
every good course in life.
10 Wisdom will come into your heart.
Knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Foresight will protect you.
Understanding will guard you.

Honor (speak)

My second word to live by in 2019 is – Honor. Honor goes hand in hand with wisdom.

“To speak with honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions.” (Dictionary.com)

Bold convictions do not require me to be unkind, but rather with emotional intelligence to reach understanding. There is a difference between understanding and acceptance that must be said. We are all made by God and I accept that person. Period. My goal is to do my best to understand that person or circumstance.

The best place to be at in any given moment is when I am surrounded by people who support me and lift me higher in mind, body and spirit whether they are family, friends, church, community or where I am employed. Even so, in or out of that cocoon, they and the world will challenge my opinions and even my heart. I accept, and I understand that reality.

Proverbs 4:6-8 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
6 Do not abandon wisdom, and it will watch over you.
Love wisdom, and it will protect you.
7 The beginning of wisdom is to acquire wisdom.
Acquire understanding with all that you have.
8 Cherish wisdom.
It will raise you up.
It will bring you honor when you embrace it.

Joy (share)

For. The. Love. of. Scotch!

JOY! Is all around us if we just take the time to look for it, believe it, and feel it.

“To share happiness caused by living in the present, of finding delight in what is good.” (Dictionary.com)

“Self-confinement makes joy impossible. Feed my fears and my faith will starve. Feed my faith and my fear starves.” The Blogging Owl

Feeding my faith every day in mind, body and spirit helps me to find joy and share it even when it is purely the simple act of sharing a smile, opening a door for someone, or  just listening to someone who is struggling in mind, body and spirit.

The smallest act of kindness toward someone maybe the biggest part of that person’s day. Be the biggest part of someone’s day. – The Blogging Owl

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Looking forward to 2019

There was a reason for taking my hands away from the keyboard 3 weeks ago. God still had much to teach me with my words to live by in 2018 in minimalism, grace and truth. After attending two separate funeral visitations of people who left this earth too soon, I have been called to write something very special in 2019 and to share that joy will take those 3 words to live in 2018 and plenty of wisdom and honor.

Words to Live By 2019.jpg
“Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you’re put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.”  Vincent van Gogh

Writing is my calling.

In the words of the poet, June Jordan,“As I am a poet, I express what I believe, and I fight against it whatever I oppose, in poetry.”

In minimalist fashion, may I write with grace, truth, wisdom and honor and with the understanding of sharing my joy with you.

Peace,

Sheri Head Shot
The Blogging Owl

Whether it is here at The Blogging Owl, on my poetry site TheOwlPoet.com, on my journal site, ThePrayerJournals.com and on a new blog, TheCorkedOwl.com, I hope you will follow, share, and comment on all of the Owl blogs.

 

(c) 2017-2018 All Rights Reserved – The Blogging Owl – SL Prielipp-Falzone

Finding Joy – The Message

Have you wondered, “How can I learn to get through to this person?”

Have you wondered, “Gee, I thought I knew this person, but I don’t think I do anymore.”

With the advent of social media in recent years with old friends and family reconnecting, have you wondered, “I don’t remember them this way back then.”

There is a whole lot of friending and un-friending going on these days and I have not been immune to it. In a world that is becoming more divisive and hostile, I have wondered, “How can anyone find joy in the messages these days?”

Concentrating on the message

Every person has a unique communication style, a way in which they interact and exchange information with others. Okay, so let’s look at the different communication styles.

There are four types of communicating styles.

1. Passive communicators often act indifferently. They yield to others, usually failing to express their own feelings and needs, allowing others to express themselves.

2. The aggressive communicator speaks in a loud and demanding voice, maintaining intense eye contact and dominating or controlling others by blaming, intimidating, criticizing, threatening or attacking them.

3. Passive-aggressive communicators mutter to themselves rather than confront a person or an issue. They have difficulty acknowledging their feelings, particularly anger using facial expressions that do not correlate with how they feel and even deny there is a problem.

4. Assertive communicators can express their own needs, desires, ideas and feelings, while also considering the needs of others. The assertive style is known to be the best communication style because it aims for both sides to win.

This is interesting because depending upon my mood, battle or if my bullshit meter has been activated, do I alter my communication style? Do I speak differently with my mother than with my husband? How about my co-worker versus my child? Do I communicate differently with a stranger than a friend? Does it depend on the topic? Are certain topics left off the table? Is that good or bad?

You see where I am going with this? No? Stay with me.

Let’s look at the different learning styles because our preferred learning style internally represents our experiences, the way we recall information, and even the words we choose.

There are seven types of learning styles.

1. Visual learners prefer pictures, images and spatial understanding.

2. Auditory learners prefer using sound and music.

3. Verbal learners prefer using words, both in speech and writing.

4. Physical learners prefer using the body, hands and the sense of touch.

5. Logical learners are mathematical. They prefer using logic, reasoning and systems.

6. Social learners prefer to learn in small groups or with other people.

7. Solitary learners prefer working alone in self-study.

I am primarily a visual learner, although verbal and logical learning is sometimes thrown in for good measure. So, how can I learn to become a better communicator? How can I become better at sharing my ideas, passions, views, and opinions, so I and the other person can each can be great in our own way without hurting or slamming one another in the process?

Are you listening? Yes? Maybe.

I believe to learn how to better communicate with one another, each of us needs to understand the types of listening styles.

There are seven types of listening styles.

1. Appreciative listening – listening for enjoyment.

2. Informative listening – gather information such as facts, directions, news, or instructions.

3. Critical listening – listening to examine and evaluate logic, truth, and value.

4. Empathetic listening – listening to another person’s feelings, or thoughts, with the ability to put oneself in the other’s shoes.

5. Precision listening – listening to single out one sound with exactness and clarity.

6. Discriminating listening – listening to distinguish all the sounds in one’s environment.

7. Social listening – listening just enough effort to give a response.

Oftentimes, we concentrate on the messenger rather than on the message.

In the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi there is a passage,
O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;

To be understood as to understand is to first believe we are all human first and foremost. No other label necessary.

A few weeks ago, I watched the Netflix special, “Nanette” a stand-up comedy act written and performed by Australian comedian, Hannah Gadsby. Its original debut was in 2017 but I never heard of Hannah Gadsby or her special, “Nanette” before that evening. It is a work of social commentary, especially about LGBTQ issues and I have watched it several times since.

Hannah Gadsby had such a profound effect on me. Not because she identifies differently than I do, or that I have an issue with the LGBTQ community. What I found in her performance was the ability to connect on such a human level about dignity and acceptance. The look of terror, anger and sadness in her face as she described the ugly experiences in her life. That visual combined with her voice brought me to tears. I had childhood traumatic experiences, although different from hers, but just the same I saw my own face in hers. I just wanted to reach out and hug her. I hope to one day. To let her know the impact she has had on me to examine how I communicate, but more importantly how I listen. And to also to let her know she is loved just as God made her.

My message is in my control.

Today’s political landscape makes it more difficult, but not insurmountable to learn how to communicate and listen to others. It takes more than open eyes, ears and mind to effectively communicate and listen to others.

Yet the messages I hear may be surprising if I commit to learning to communicate and listen more attentively with my heart. If my prayer is the same as Saint Francis, then I can find joy in trying. And perhaps I may be understood too in the process.

Actions are the words of the heart.

Still the cautionary tale is in a person’s actions. Often, I need to silence myself and to the noise around me. Actions do speak louder than verbal words. And what makes it even more difficult is wading through those words and the actions to know the truth.

Each of us has a different communication, learning and listening style, as well as different life experiences. Yet, the one thing that is in my control is my message.

Have you heard yourself lately? How about the other person? I’m committed to learning to become better at it. You too?

Finding joy in today,

New web photo - Sheri

The Blogging Owl

(c) 2017-2018 All Rights Reserved – The Blogging Owl – SL Prielipp-Falzone