IF – I am being honest, Food-Love

Food love

Take a good look

This is a body scan of a 250 lb woman on the left and a 120 lb woman on the right. Take a good look at this photo. Look at the fat surrounding the woman’s organs on the left. Do you also see the fat around her heart and around her brain? Look at the compression around the stomach and internal organs. Do you think that may have any impact on her digestion like gastroesophageal reflux disease, commonly known as GERD? Now look at her joints, particularly her hips and knees. Imagine the inflammation and joint pain carrying that much weight?

How do you think she feels in mind, body, and spirit?

This is my second post, my second 30 days of converting to the Intermittent Fasting lifestyle. I began my conversion on January 2, 2019.

Food-Love

Margueritas, wings and everything loaded

Acceptance.

Wine, pasta and bread sex, I mean sticks

Love.

Sugar, candy and everything nice

Kindness.

These are the reactions to food-love.

When one is overweight, food often replaces people and circumstances to allow the feelings of acceptance. Food romances the obese even if having the lights out is still not enough to hide one’s disgust. And when love isn’t there to comfort, well a little kindness can be found in a cookie or a handful of peanut M&M’s.

If I am being honest, food offers a respite from boredom more than food love. But I can no longer deny that food love has played a role in my obesity. When one is overweight and can no longer do the activities of one’s choosing or feel the beauty within because it is covered in the protective layers of fat, then boredom becomes the snacking activity between meals.

Good Food or Food-Love?

Now there is nothing wrong with loving “good” food. Yet, there is a difference between “good food” and “food-love.” The difference is self-love.

If I am being honest in my second 30 days…

Intermittent fasting began putting the spotlight not on food-love, but on self-love. What food will nourish me and get me to my next eating window. I do not deprive myself necessarily in my eating window, I am more mindful of making “good” food choices.

Nothing is worse than getting to that eating window and having a bad meal. If we are out to dinner and there is good bread on the table, I may have a slice slathered with butter. After fasting for 60 days, I know what foods will give me a hangover – pasta, processed food, sugar – these three food-love types I do my best to avoid.

I should be elated and proud of myself, right?

After losing 12-pounds the last 60 days, if ever so slowly and seeing myself shrink inches, I imagined new expectations of me. While no one else may notice what I have accomplished to date so far, if I am being honest, there have been momentary panic attacks with the thoughts and vision of being thin again after so many years. There is pain in mind, body, and spirit with being overweight, but there is also comfort in not having any expectations of myself or from others.

February’s IF Highlights

This past month I researched apps to help me figure out my caloric intake and from what food sources. Since I have used MyFitnessPal in the past, I began using the application again as an experiment to determine if I could get over my abstinence of the tedious task of tracking my meals. I failed at using this app because as I stated in my first IF post, tracking is too tedious. I do use it in planning meals after scanning what is available in the pantry and refrigerator.

I also started using the Zero app, a fasting application that counts down (or up) to when a fasting period is over and when the next meal window opens. I do like this app because it helps me to keep to a minimum fast time of 18 hours for when I break my fast early due to family and friend events. No one wants to be that person, “Oh no thank you, I am fasting.”

Another app I have begun using is the Daylio app, it is a simple and customizable diary. I simply use it to track my mood, my fasts, and how much I weigh each day by using icons and short notes. I can review my progress at a glance.

The fourth tool is the Fitbit or “fitbitter.” I began using it to learn my current daily step-count. Although I have a gym membership, I am going to let my membership expire. I would rather use my Fitbit and use free-weights at home. I didn’t get very far in my exercise this month. I re-injured my back moving a heavy bookcase so that has taken most of the month to heal. I will begin a walking program next week during my lunch hour  at the office and after work when the polar vortex decides to leave for good. It’s not much of an exercise program but it is start at least for now.

Self-Love

After my last post I changed my mind on two things: One, I would weigh myself daily to keep me committed to fasting, and two, to take a photo of myself (for my eyes only) so I could gauge the changes in my body composition. I have maintained the 12-pound weight loss and I can honestly say that I am glad I took photos. I took one after my first 30 days and another after 60 days of beginning intermittent fasting. I also took measurements of the most rotund part of my body. I have lost 2-3/4 inches. Now if I am being honest, when someone is obese not one friend or family member is going to notice a 12-pound weight loss or a 2-3/4-inch difference around the hips and middle.

And you know what? That’s okay. I see it.

I see my love handles becoming love tabs. I see my belly-button becoming a button again after being stretched into a crater, and surgical scars that look like dimples instead of stretch marks. I am losing bra-bulge and my arms hang down a bit more normal. My skin is beginning to glow, and my cheek jowls are all but gone. I feel my pants loosening and my confidence growing.

When I first saw the body scan photo posted on my Facebook IF support group page, I was horrified. I have to make this lifestyle change permanent! I realized this lifestyle change was to make ME notice. This has truly been the beginning of understanding the meaning and practice of “self-love.”

So, remember when I said earlier that I was anxious about expectations? All anyone needs to do is look at the body scan above to know that food-love kills. Self-love is more than just saying, “I love myself.” Self-love thrives in mind, body and spirit.

If I am being honest in my next 30 days…

As most of my readers know, I journal daily. It is a must part of my day. And in the last 30 days of writing my way through the figuring-out of this new lifestyle change and the plans God has for me, I desired to really tap into the clarity of mind, body and spirit. I had planned to do 40-Days of OMAD (one meal a day) for the Lenten Season beginning March 6, 2019. The more I thought about doing OMAD for that long of a period, I grew anxious, so I decided to take control of unknown expectations and to start a week early. I am 3 days in.

God is certainly with me. It has not been a difficult transition. In my next post 30 days from now, I will share with you what I have learned in mind, body and spirit. My goal is to continue OMAD until Easter Sunday, April 21st.

As I will say in closing on each post, blogging about my progress helps me keep it real, and if it helps you too, all the better. You are welcome to post any thoughts or tips too! I appreciate you following The Blogging Owl.

Peace,

Sheri Head Shot

The Blogging Owl

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