Where truth leads

For believers, God has the power to be everywhere and to do anything.

For non-believers, the question remains.

Where was God in all this victimization?

Each week seems to bring new accusations of sexual molestation, sexual harassment and sexual assault as more victims find their voice as evident now in the public revelation of Kevin Spacey’s alleged long standing behavior. Palms slapping foreheads. Fingers plugging ears. Eyes looking elsewhere. Mouths speaking words of disbelief to condemn both the accused and their victims.

But first ask, where were all the bystanders?

Spouse, parent, employer, coworker, colleague, or witness on the street, where were you? I’ll tell you where you were – dependent upon your own needs, your investment, your paycheck, and your unwillingness to get involved. It’s the ugliest of human betrayal.

Say you didn’t know. Say you didn’t believe. Say what you want.

Say whatever helps you sleep at night. You, bystanders who now crawl from underneath your rationalization, are not brave. You are not courageous. You are complicit. The only ones who are innocent are the ones who were being abused too.

“But let justice flow like a river and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” Amos 5:24

See if you can sleep after reading these statistics

Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics
Victims and Perpetrators Research
Effects of Child Sexual Abuse on Victims

God’s ways are beyond human understanding

I’ll be honest. I struggled with that same question as unbelievers. Where was God in all my sexual abuse circumstances?

The struggle became even more apparent after losing a coveted career in 2009 due to the raping of the United States economy and American families. Bitterness moved in with shame and anxiety. All three capsizing me. On the edge of drowning, I faced what my memory did not want me to see.

“My soul is weak from waiting for you to save me. My hope is based on your word. My eyes have become strained from looking for your promise. I ask, “When will you comfort me?” ” Psalm 119:81-82

God was there

God sent angels, who unknowing of my internal struggles, helped me to see God’s light, hear God’s Word, and feel God’s love. Comforted, I accept who and where I am. God was  there and He is here now.

“He rescues suffering people through their suffering and opens their ears through distress.” Job 36:15

And what I have learned since is this… I will put my hope in God each, and every time over bystanders. I can’t make unbelievers believe, but I have heard God’s call. My struggles have equipped me to help bystanders do the right thing… to stand up and speak out against abuse of any kind to anyone or animal.



The Blogging Owl


I am a Christian – An Essay

My Identity

My identity is in Jesus Christ and not in any earthly religious denomination. I grew up in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod with brief periods in other Christian denominations. Recently, I seriously considered other Christian denominations and non-denominational churches, but I chose to transfer to another LCMS community church dedicated to local outreach missions. Churches are not perfect because they have members like me who are not perfect. Christ and His church is the center of my life but the circle around my heart which is in Him is a jagged path.

Matthew 3:2-4  GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
2 “Turn to God and change the way you think and act, because the kingdom of heaven is near.” 3 Isaiah the prophet spoke about this man when he said,
“A voice cries out in the desert:
‘Prepare the way for the Lord!
Make his paths straight!’”

I believe

I believe in order to make the jagged path straight, I must also follow the greatest commandments:

Matthew 22:35-39 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
35 One of them, an expert in Moses’ Teachings, tested Jesus by asking,36 “Teacher, which commandment is the greatest in Moses’ Teachings?”
37 Jesus answered him, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and most important commandment. 39 The second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’

Sharing my faith

My jagged path believes in acceptance of all my brothers and sisters who may look, speak, love, and yes, even worship differently than I do.

For example

I am pro-choice. Many of my fellow Christian believers would refute my membership in the Christian faith with this confession.

They may even cry out further when I confess that I believe we all want to be loved and some find love with a person who is identical to them. Is it really love or something conflicted because it doesn’t fit into what is “normal?”

God made me a Caucasian while he created others in beautiful hues. If anything I feel cheated to be dressed in a white pasty skin and straight ashy hair. But we did not create our physical, physiological selves, God created us.

While we have the choice to whom and how we worship, how can I connect with others my joy in Christ who are different than me, and yet we are the same – sinners if there are laws and walls that keep us separated from understanding one another?

Don’t misunderstand. I am an advocate for life.

How can I share with a young mother who is contemplating abortion there is an alternative like adoption if I don’t help her obtain the necessary medical attention and education? How can I share with her my story of how I wouldn’t be married to the love of my life or have two beautiful sons had my husband’s biological mother sought out a back alley abortionist rather than his biological dad abandoning him and his siblings at a Catholic orphanage? Were abandonment and an orphanage ideal? Hell no! But he and his siblings were given a better choice of life over death. How can I share with her this story if there are a judgment and barriers to choice?

Acceptance starts with me.

How can I honestly love my neighbor who may look, love, and worship differently than I do if I do not love myself?

I have been molested, I am have been sexually assaulted, I have been rejected for one reason or another, time and time again, I have been lonely, I have been sad, I have been sick, I have made good decisions, I have made bad decisions, and through all that I AM LOVED by Jesus Christ and accepted just as I am. A sinner. A sinner with a jagged circle around my heart whose center is Jesus Christ, trying my best to make my path straight and the jagged circle smooth to enter the narrow gate.

Matthew 7:13-14
“Enter through the narrow gate because the gate and the road that lead to destruction are wide. Many enter through the wide gate. But the narrow gate and the road that leads to life are full of trouble. Only a few people find the narrow gate.”

How can stories be shared? It starts with a choice. It starts with acceptance. It starts with me.

I am a Christian.