Lent – In My Opinion, Part 3

In my posts on Lent – In My Opinion, I wondered if my opinion mattered. A friend responded that my opinion DOES matter because in her words, and I am paraphrasing, “You have always given me good counsel.” I am flattered that she believes I have given her good advice, and she indeed is a wonderful reciprocating friend.

Still I pondered, “Does my opinion matter?”

All anyone need do is read social media posts, listen to television talk shows or news programs to know that most people have an opinion… STRONG opinions on any given topic and there are many controversial topics to choose from these days.

But does each of our individual opinions matter or only collectively… or perhaps not at all?

I only have to Google “Parkland” to read about the many opinions on school shootings, gun violence in America, gun control, the NRA, and even whether school kids have the right to speak out, rally and give voice to what adults are doing to protect them.

Parkland Shooting Survivor Calls Out Lawmakers in Chilling the NRA

How the Survivors of Parkland Began the Never Again Movement

A republican who called Parkland teen, a ‘skinhead lesbian’ drops out of Maine House race

Parkland Shooting Surveillance Video Shows Deputy Remained Outside


As I read the numerous articles, listen to the television pundits debating the tragedy with politicians and mental health experts, and read the public’s comments on social media threads, yes, I do believe each of our opinions matter.

The better question is, “Will my opinion matter?”

I would like to believe that shushing my opinion these last 20 days or so has led me to be less vocal in my coarse language (you still are right Vinny Sal, giving up the “F” word wouldn’t have lasted past a day). Yet abstaining from my voicing my opinion has caused me to become more introspective.

Am I abiding by my own mantra, “Resist Reaction Let Reason Rule?”

Many times, when I read a tweet or someone’s post on a social media thread, I just want to quickly respond in disagreement because what the person tweeted or posted was in my opinion just plain stupid, or ‘for the love of scotch’ how can you be so blind to what seems so obvious, so on and so forth.

Now, I ask myself questions. Do I really believe, think, feel that way? How does that opinion reflect on me? How does that opinion reflect on the issue at hand? Does it further the cause? Does it just get lost in the noise or will it collectively matter?

It is not a win or lose matter

My opinion will matter when I:

  • cast my vote in the election booth after careful study of the candidates.
  • seek to be understood rather than just to be heard.
  • my attitude about someone’s opinion is not to slam it but to try to understand it. Ask the open-ended questions – who, what, where, how and why does the person have this opinion.
  • help others to thrive.

Because when it comes right down to it, my personal initiative of being a Watering Can is is not about me. It is about helping others thrive. I can’t do that unless there is a ‘will’ to have opinions matter for the collective good.

Of course! My opinion matters and the goal is to have it matter where love and security in mind, body and spirit win out.


The Blogging Owl


(c) 2017-2018 All Rights Reserved – The Blogging Owl – SL Prielipp-Falzone



Where truth leads

For believers, God has the power to be everywhere and to do anything.

For non-believers, the question remains.

Where was God in all this victimization?

Each week seems to bring new accusations of sexual molestation, sexual harassment and sexual assault as more victims find their voice as evident now in the public revelation of Kevin Spacey’s alleged long standing behavior. Palms slapping foreheads. Fingers plugging ears. Eyes looking elsewhere. Mouths speaking words of disbelief to condemn both the accused and their victims.

But first ask, where were all the bystanders?

Spouse, parent, employer, coworker, colleague, or witness on the street, where were you? I’ll tell you where you were – dependent upon your own needs, your investment, your paycheck, and your unwillingness to get involved. It’s the ugliest of human betrayal.

Say you didn’t know. Say you didn’t believe. Say what you want.

Say whatever helps you sleep at night. You, bystanders who now crawl from underneath your rationalization, are not brave. You are not courageous. You are complicit. The only ones who are innocent are the ones who were being abused too.

“But let justice flow like a river and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” Amos 5:24

See if you can sleep after reading these statistics

Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics
Victims and Perpetrators Research
Effects of Child Sexual Abuse on Victims

God’s ways are beyond human understanding

I’ll be honest. I struggled with that same question as unbelievers. Where was God in all my sexual abuse circumstances?

The struggle became even more apparent after losing a coveted career in 2009 due to the raping of the United States economy and American families. Bitterness moved in with shame and anxiety. All three capsizing me. On the edge of drowning, I faced what my memory did not want me to see.

“My soul is weak from waiting for you to save me. My hope is based on your word. My eyes have become strained from looking for your promise. I ask, “When will you comfort me?” ” Psalm 119:81-82

God was there

God sent angels, who unknowing of my internal struggles, helped me to see God’s light, hear God’s Word, and feel God’s love. Comforted, I accept who and where I am. God was  there and He is here now.

“He rescues suffering people through their suffering and opens their ears through distress.” Job 36:15

And what I have learned since is this… I will put my hope in God each, and every time over bystanders. I can’t make unbelievers believe, but I have heard God’s call. My struggles have equipped me to help bystanders do the right thing… to stand up and speak out against abuse of any kind to anyone or animal.



The Blogging Owl


Reality Check

Getting personal

My mother hurt me to the core this past summer. A hurt cutting so deep that it opened-up once again childhood wounds that I had worked diligently to confront and heal over the past several years. I saw a new side of her, or rather a side, I tried not to see for a long time. And because of long standing childhood wounds and this last straw, my behavior had become a blaring, blinking, red danger light and it was becoming apparent in everything I was posting online, writing or journaling.

My attitude was becoming belligerent a result of coming from a place of anger and deep sadness. I was retreating more and more into a self-imposed exile away from family, friends, and even God.

Getting real

Attitudes are shaped by past and present experiences, perceptions, long standing exposure and repetitive feedback of those around us, particularly those who have raised us and who are closest to us. And our behavior is the result of that attitude that reinforces our beliefs of being bad, good, or worthy.

To make a long story short about the current state of my attitude, I was coping with my anger and emotions versus managing them. Coping, in my opinion, puts a person on the side of weakness instead of empowerment. I needed to get real about my current state of mind.

The outside world

We have become a divisive nation on almost every front and it seems to be getting only worse. I cannot control the world, but I can control what I see, hear, and read. Mind you, I am not putting my head in the sand, which was my own initial fear, but the fact of the matter comes down to these 3 questions I have had to step back and answer:

What do I stand for?

What I am unwilling to negotiate?

What are my core values and how are they being defined in my life?

My personal world

What’s in my control in my personal world just like in the outside world is a bit more daunting when personal slights can trigger emotions regarding long-standing issues. I began to realize how the outside world was feeding the negative experiences and perceptions I had of myself – a few of those auto-wind tapes from childhood I thought I had shredded had been left behind. My parents are who they are, but they have taught me many things, and in some instances how not to treat my own sons. But my parents are not the whole of who I am, their experiences are not the totality of my experiences, nor are they the sum of who I am as a person, a wife, as a mother, as a colleague, as a friend, and so on.

“Getting me” is the same as “getting the other person”

Take for example, University of Michigan coach, John Harbaugh’s response when his son came out as being gay and he immediately responded to his son, “Live your truth.”

Our behavior is determined by our beliefs, either our ability (or inability) to express ourselves and talk about problems comes from our individual frame of references. And are we each open to communicating with each other in a supportive atmosphere? If social media has taught us anything is that making a simple statement to putting our laundry out on the Internet is ripe for ridicule. Whether it is social media or my personal interactions, I am going to live my truth and try to abide by my motto that I developed years ago which is….

The 4 R’s – Resist Reaction Let Reason Rule:

• What is the motive behind my behavior?
• Are my words or my behavior, according to my principles, or they in response to the other person?
• What is my intention with my interactions with others?

Recognizing the danger signals:

Can I?

• Actively listen?
• Acknowledge the other person’s position?
• Accept the other person’s perspective?
• Avoid accusations?
• Move on in grace, knowing my values may not be honored or accepted?

Final note

Whatever that “TRUTH” is even if it is never shared with or honored by another, may we all resist to control, blame, judge, misinform or be indifferent to one another.

Reality check

I’m still in my imposed self-exile working on being positive, kind, and more importantly, healing myself and trying to help others thrive.